Page 3 of Love Unlocked

He pulls her close for a kiss to ground them both together in this flighty moment. She kisses him quickly and pulls away again, shouting to someone over his shoulder.

‘You knew about this?’ She pulls away from Al and playfully hits Walter before hugging him.

‘I couldn’t ruin the surprise, could I? Congratulations. Do I need to get new housemates?’ Walter asks.

‘Absolutely not, the wedding will be ages away,’ she says, examining her ring again. Her fingers are still trembling. ‘I think Wally should stay with us even when we’re married.’ She rests her head on his shoulder.

Al takes a picture. It’s his dream that his childhood best friend and his now fiancée – fiancée! – respect each other so much.

‘What did you think?’ he asks Walter, as Tara squeals towards another friend.

‘It was different.’

He feels disappointed again. Had he missed a note? ‘It was a compilation of our favourite quotes from the romantic films Tara loves.’

Walter’s face lights up. ‘Ah, that makes sense. Because it was a bit confusing but that’s nice, man. Seriously, congrats. I’m happy for you both.’

Al senses sadness in his friend. Walter hasn’t met anyone yet, no one serious.

‘This will be you someday, Walter. It’ll happen for you too. I know it.’

‘Oh yeah, hopefully,’ he says, shuffling awkwardly.

‘And nothing will change between us, you know?’

‘Yeah I know. Stop acting weird.’

‘Yeah sorry. You’re my best friend, I want you to feel what I feel someday.’

He watches Tara trying to take a photo of her hand, for Instagram, he bets. He’d like the announcement to include him too. He hurries to grab his fiancée – fiancée! – for a photograph so they can capture the moment.

The happiest day, the happiest moment, without doubt, of his life.

TWO YEARS LATER

3

AL

Shafted. He’d been shafted. Tara and Walter, Wally, had absolutely shafted him. He tries to block out his thoughts with music, covers his ears with a pair of Beats.

‘Love Will Tear Us Apart’ by Joy Division was released on 27 June 1980 as a non-album single. Its lyrics were inspired by lead singer Ian Curtis’s marital problems and it was released a month after his suicide. One of the greatest songs of all time. Is it a love song? Is it an anti-love song? Al is thinking the latter. The song blares, the tones of Ian Curtis belting through his headphones into his ears. The music is dangerously high according to his concerned iPhone that seems to care more about him than anybody else in his life. It has consistently warned him to turn his music down and he’s taken delight in ignoring it, swiping it away like an aggro teen.

He stands on the Luas, Dublin’s tram system, on the way to work, gripping the pole in a crowded tram. Heads, armpits, too much perfume, sweat, all around him, it’s like a game of Twister. He’s grateful to be taller than most, nose closer to the clearer oxygen. It’s a longer journey to work than he took four weeks ago. He used to be able to walk from his house. He used to have a house. He used to have a fiancée.

The song ends and it immediately begins again for the fifth, maybe sixth time. It’s the mood he has decided to be in today and he chose the song to suit. He is aligned with the music he plays every day. Each day a new song, the same song all day. Like a daily anthem that guides him through this shitstorm.

Ian Curtis understood what Al is going through. The torture, the pain in his voice, the almost hypnotic loop of despair mirrors what’s in Al’s heart and head. The absolute certainty of the statement. Ian knows that love will tear them apart, and he’s telling, no, warning everyone. It’s a lecture. It’s the student commencement speech Al would give any university if he was ever asked to part with his knowledge.

Al gets off the Luas, the song still playing all the way through the streets of Dublin to his office, Bridgespan: Ireland’s Bridge Management System. In his sadness he feels buoyed by Ian’s truth – he and Ian know what others don’t. Love is a con, it’s fake. He’s not distracted anymore by love. The mushy-gushy, oohey-gooey Al is dead and gone.

Tara left him.

And she left him for Walter.

Wally.

When he’d told Walter that someday this would be him, he didn’t mean with his fiancée! When he said someday Walter would feel what he feels, he didn’t mean being inside his fiancée!