Page 13 of Love Unlocked

‘Helen Hanratty,’ he says like a scolded child. ‘You wanted me to meet her.’

‘Yes, because she was wrecking my head calling and emailing me all the time, and I wanted you to shut her up, not because I wanted you to take the love locks down.’

‘I filed a report. The locks were jeopardising the bridge. You are cc’d in everything.’ His tone is more one of amusement and surprise rather than anger at being spoken to like this.

‘I don’t read your stupid reports.’

‘You’re supposed to.’

He keeps his tone light, despite her anger; he doesn’t want his colleagues to think they’re having a domestic, which is kind of what it feels like.

‘Where are the locks?’ she asks.

‘Tony told me to send them to metal recycling.’

‘What will they do with them?’

‘Melt them down, I assume.’

Natasha looks broken. Suddenly she starts crying and he’s relieved about this because today he’s more comfortable with dealing with sadness than anger. Her shoulders shake and she folds herself into the chair in front of his desk.

‘Oh Jesus, this is so embarrassing,’ she says, pulling strands of her pink hair across to hide her face as she cries. Her nose is running.

Al reaches into his backpack for a tissue and comes out with a handful of wet snotty tissues from his own outbreaks of despair. He finally finds a clean one and hands it to her. She snatches it as though it’s a life buoy. Al gives her time to compose herself and looks out to the open-plan office. Walter looks down at his phone as he makes his way to the kitchen area, which is a surprising change to the new normal schedule. Walter has avoided the kitchen area since he and Tara had broken the news to Al about them wanting to be together, that’s how they’d phrased it. Al was assuming Walter’s self-imposed injunction was out of some twisted respect for Al, or fear and shame, which was right. Al doesn’t like Walter’s cockiness today.

Al had gone to the house again at the weekend. He would say he visited, only it’s not called visiting if it’s his own home. His intention was to piss in Walter’s wardrobe. He’d not actualised this intention. In theory, the smell of urine absorbed into the fabric of Walter’s shirts, which have no buttons from a previous visit, would have been satisfactorily disruptive to Walter’s life. In actuality, as Al unzipped his trousers, he’d felt like an animal. He’d caught sight of his reflection in the mirror over the dresser and didn’t like what he saw. The expression on his face. The stormy snarl. The brutal disgusting lewd act didn’t seem so humorous in real life.

Instead, he’d left the fridge open a little; they could argue between themselves about who forgot to close it before they left the house. Spoiled yoghurt and unsafe chicken are petty but significantly better than urinating on Walter’s clothes.

Natasha is still crying. He hears the pain, and he recognises the heartbreak. She’s hurting inside.

‘What’s wrong?’

‘I broke up with my boyfriend.’

Pedro. He remembers seeing him waiting outside the office for Natasha, a six-foot-four MMA fighter from Barcelona.

‘He called me on Thursday and said he was tired of the long-distance relationship. Out of nowhere!’

‘It’s only two thousand kilometres.’

‘Exactly!’ Buoyed by the reinforcement she toughens up again. ‘And we’ve been making it work for three years. It’s never been a problem before. I mean, it’s sometimes annoying that we have to plan to see each other, but we were going to move in together. It’s not like I was going to stay here forever.’ She looks around the office with a disgusted face. ‘No offence.’

Offence taken.

‘I was saving up. We were going to go travelling for a few years and then settle down in Barcelona. Anyway, that’s why I was out on Friday.’ She wipes her eyes and pushes the crushed drenched tissue up to her raw nose.

Al sighs. ‘You just never know what’s going on in people’s heads. You think you know someone and they turn out to be someone completely different. They stab you in the back. It makes you think, if someone who loves me can do this, then what can everyone else do? If someone you love …’ his voice wobbles and Natasha looks at him curiously, ‘can do this to you, and can think so little of you, then what damage can a stranger do? I find it scary. It makes me question humanity. You can’t trust anyone.’

‘Yeah,’ she says, sniffing. ‘I wasn’t really worrying about humanity, but he’s pissed me off. I’m hoping he’ll change his mind.’

‘You can take the day off if you want.’

‘Thanks, but I’ll stay. Keep my mind off it.’

Al doubts that she’ll be able to think of anything else.

Al had gone through a phase of thinking Walter and Tara would change their minds too. He realises he’s still hoping, waiting for the moment they realise they were both out of their minds. They’ve made a mistake, seen the error of their ways. Tara can’t stand the sight of Walter’s naked body, he can’t get it up. The passion that had stirred of not being able to be together while living together has worn off, or wasn’t what they thought it would be. It’s been five weeks now.