Page 102 of Lyrebird

‘You don’t even know where I’m going.’

He shrugs. ‘Anywhere but here would be an attraction right now.’

She smiles at him sympathetically. ‘What are you doing up so late?’

‘Only time I get to practise. It’s so crazy with everybody here in the day. Too many people keeping an eye on each other. I envy you sometimes, up there in your room.’

‘Sorry.’

‘Don’t be.’

‘I need to get out,’ she explains.

‘Are you coming back?’

‘I want to,’ she says honestly. She wants to honour everybody who has helped her. It’s not their fault that it has all come to this point; the blame for that is all hers. But how can she take part in the show when she hasn’t uttered a sound? She’s heard the radio and TV reports that the Lyrebird has lost her lore.

Alan looks tired.

‘You should sleep, Alan. You have a big night tomorrow.’

‘I can’t,’ he says, rubbing his eyes. ‘I’ve never been so nervous in my life,’ he stammers. ‘Mabel, on the other hand, is getting her beauty sleep. She needs it.’

Laura laughs. ‘I meant what I said: I want you to win. You deserve it more than anyone.’

‘I think we both deserve it more than anyone,’ he says kindly.

They smile.

‘Then if either of us win, we’ve both won already,’ he says. ‘Can I ask you something? Why are you taking part in this show? You’re the last person I’d imagine being interested in this kind of life. Not that I’m being judgemental,’ he stammers. ‘If you saw where I’m coming from, you’d understand why I entered. I have nothing. I live with Mam and Dad. It’s me and Mabel and … that’s it. If I don’t make it work, there’s nothing else that I know how to do. I’ve tried everything else.’ He shakes his head. ‘I’ve failed at everything else. Mabel is all I have.’

Laura thinks about it. ‘I think, Alan, the two of us have more in common than you could know. If I wasn’t here right now, I can’t think of anything else that I could do either, but I didn’t know that being able to do the thing that I love to do, naturally, would make life so complicated.’

He smiles sadly. ‘And we are the lucky ones. Imagine if we didn’t know?’

Laura ponders that.

‘I’ll get my car keys.’

They leave the house unnoticed, though Laura wouldn’t be surprised if reports of a secret affair between Alan and Laura were to emerge in the press. There’s nothing Alice wouldn’t do to jeopardise their positions in the competition. Laura is certain Alice was behind the leaked ‘backstage altercation’ between Lyrebird and the StarrQuest producer.

The drive to Dublin city is calm, there being no traffic on the roads at this hour.

‘Is this the sound guy’s place?’ he asks, looking up at the block of apartments.

‘Yes,’ Laura replies. ‘How did you know?’

‘I’ve seen you with him,’ he says. ‘Mabel felt you had a thing going.’

Laura leans her head back against the headrest. ‘Mabel’s got it wrong. There was nothing between us.’ She fights her tears from welling.

‘I don’t know, Mabel is pretty smart,’ Alan says studying her. ‘Bianca left his number for you to call him, you know.’

‘I know,’ she sighs. ‘I couldn’t. I was too embarrassed.’

‘Laura you have to get over it. At my brother’s wedding I got so drunk I gave his mother-in-law a lap dance. I don’t even remember doing it. Saw the footage though. I ripped open my shirt. Popped every button. Almost took her eye out. If I can look her in the eye every Christmas, Easter and every family occasion, then you can.’

Laura giggles. ‘Thanks Alan.’