Page 40 of Apparently, I’m A B!tch

Chapter23

Tristan

Friday morning

How couldI sleep after yesterday afternoon? I kissed Nikki. I kissed her, and she wanted it. She wanted it, she wanted me.

After I got back onto the street, still buzzing with what happened, I made my way inside my empty shop. I put some music on and finished the work I left behind, smiling to myself like it was Christmas morning and I got everything I ever asked for.

There was something there. I knew there was. It’d been there since I first laid eyes on her nine years ago.

I wanted her to want me. I wanted to taste her lips, hold her tight and call her mine. It finally seemed like that could happen, like it could be my reality.

I got up at four in the morning with an energy I hadn’t had in months. I pushed it all out into my gym session, going harder than I had since the day I bought the shop. Back then, buying Extra Shot from Uncle Henry had been a new start, a fresh change, and I was full of electricity.

This was better than that.

Nikki was more than the promise of something new. This was more than being overwhelmed with physical lust or fantasizing over a crush. We had history. I knew her.

I was there, holding her hair back when she was sick enough to vomit all over the floor of the backroom. I helped her study through the night when she freaked out about getting a good LSAT score. I watched those wide eyes gloss over with relief when I pushed a plate of shaabiyat in front of her the day she stopped eating because one of the other students in her class told her she would never make it as a lawyer.

I wanted her so badly I couldn’t think straight anymore, and yesterday I finally did something about it.

The logical side of my mind tried to argue with me. It tried to tell me there was a reason nine years went by without us taking that step. It tried to remind me of Nikki’s solid confidence, her intelligence, her sharp wit and her strong social justice streak; claiming that a woman like that was too good for a shy artist who barely began his career before defaulting to running a coffee shop.

She’s always been too good for me, and I’ve never had the confidence to make that move and close the distance between us.

Until now. And I wouldn’t let my insecurities ruin this, because the one thing I could offer Nikki that no one else could was a deep, unwavering and honest love built on years of knowing each other. That had to be good enough.

The morning rolled by, and as Lilly wandered in, her eyes still puffy from sleep, I sang out a “good morning” to her that made her plug her fingers in her ears. Shawn followed and stared at me with mock hatred as I smiled brightly at him and whistled while I made their usual bowls of oatmeal.

“Why are you so happy this morning?” Lilly asked, closing her eyes and slumping onto the couch in the back area, the smell of cinnamon and honey rising from the bowl she cradled in her hands.

I shrugged. “It’s a beautiful day, I sold a painting this week, I’ve got a class on Sunday–”

“Wait! What happened with Nikki?” Lilly peered at me as I spoke, her face shifting as she remembered how we left each other yesterday.

Shawn stirred in his chair, taking the warm bowl I offered him. “I bet I can guess what happened. She let you take her for a ride on her desk, didn’t she?”

He looked up and winked as Lilly scoffed and yelled out, “Ewww!” while throwing a cushion that hit the side of Shawn’s head as I took a page from Nikki’s book and rolled my eyes at him.

“We didn’t go that far, but I did… uh.” Was I supposed to be talking about this? Was there any truth to that old adage of kiss and don’t tell?

It was too late; I said too much. Lilly was already off the couch, her bowl left behind and balancing precariously on a cushion. “What? What did you do?”

I put my hands on my hips and couldn’t fight my grin. Maybe it was okay to say it out loud. “I kissed her.”

Shawn let out a whoop as Lilly’s jaw dropped. I laughed at seeing her like that. Lilly had seen right through me from the second she met Nikki. I was a bumbling, awkward idiot around her, and Lilly knew me well enough to know what was going on.

Despite our eleven-year age gap, Lilly was there with me, my pseudo little sister, shadowing me through my life. Uncle Henry pulled Lilly along to every event he attended with my parents, and we grew close enough over the years for her to recognize the signs.

Before Nikki left, Lilly joined us at the shop, working alongside us, shooting me smug glances whenever Nikki and I would touch or tease each other. She knew I was crushing hard, but despite how much she pushed, she never really expected me to break through the shell of my friendship with Nikki and take the next step.

Lilly recovered and eyed me as if seeing me for the first time. “What happened?”

“She’s coming by today so we can talk about it.”

“About it?”