Page 30 of Apparently, I’m Torture

Nikki was there that day, sitting with Uncle Henry in one of our booths, and I felt her eyes on me. I wished I knew what she was thinking, but going to Nikki or Tristan for advice about Lilly meant admitting I had hope that something would happen between us. And given how things were between Lilly and I, I couldn’t afford to lean into that.

Today, Lilly and I shared one glance. One. Then Lilly rushed into the backroom and used training our newest employee, Dean, as a cover to avoid me.

But it was fine, everything was fine.

She wanted some other guy. I’d get over it. I fucking had to.

The coffee shop was busy today, with people swarming in and out, sharing stories and asking why I decided to leave Tristy’s.

Hearing customers say they’d miss me was a shock to the system. For so many years I thought this thing was one-sided. But I was a familiar feature of their days, just like they were a part of mine. As much as I didn’t want to, I had to admit, the feeling was mutual. I was going to miss this place.

“Hey, Shawn,” Tristan called. “Can you help Lilly with the inventory?”

I braced myself and went to the backroom, immediately noticing Lilly’s tight shoulders, Tristan’s struggle not to laugh, and both Dean and Karim, staring wide-eyed at their boss and Lilly.

“I can show them on my own,” she said to Tristan, “I don’t need his help.” She sounded calm, but I could tell she didn’t want to share this task with me.

So I gave her an out. “I can handle the training if you want to manage the counter instead?”

She looked at me and relaxed her shoulders as relief flitted across her features, and pain bloomed in my chest. She was grateful that she didn’t have to deal with me, and I couldn’t blame her. It was my fault we were like this. I was upset, I wouldn’t tell her why, and now she was avoiding me.

She brushed by, and the feel of that slight touch of her arm against mine was enough to send fire racing across my skin. I dragged my focus back to Tristan, and watched his earlier glee fade to disappointment.

“That’s not what I wanted,” he said.

I tilted my head at him, confused, as I took the inventory ledger from his hands. “What did you want?”

“For you and Lilly to work out whatever’s going on.” He said this as if Karim and Dean weren’t right here in the room.

Tristan straightened and folded his arms. He was in a fitted long-sleeve Henley and stonewash grey jeans with faded paint splatter stains.

I eyed him, raised a brow, and said, “You’ve got more of a chance of Nikki dragging you to your old studio bedroom again.”

A slight smile tugged at his lips, then disappeared as he asked, “What happened?”

I shook my head and studied the ledger. “This isn’t the right time to talk about this. I’ve got these two to worry about.” I waved in Karim and Dean’s direction as they shifted awkwardly on their feet.

Tristan flicked them a glance and said, “Guys, could you please help Lilly stack the wraps for our lunch rush? Thanks.”

Dean and Karim filed out of the backroom, squinting at us as they passed.

“Okay, we’re alone now.”

“That still doesn’t mean it’s a good time to talk about this.”

“Shawn, I know you’ve got feelings for Lilly. Is that what this is about?”

Tristan’s question completely blindsided me. I jerked back and stared at him.

“What’re you talking about? Lilly and I are just friends.”

His smile reappeared and I assumed he was thinking about his wife. “So were Nikki and I. For years.” He furrowed his brow. “Don’t take as long as I did to make a move, Shawn. It’s already been long enough.”

I scoffed, trying to come up with something to say. “You’ve got this all wrong. You and Nikki belong together. Lilly and I don’t have what you guys have.”

“Yet. But you might. Did you tell her how you feel?”

Tristan’s questions were slipping through my defenses, and I let them. He knew. Was there any point in denying it anymore?