Page 135 of The Crown’s Temptation

He nodded. "I love you," he said, his lips against my forehead. "I cannot believe you are here."

"Colsar. I want to ride you."

He looked at me, a small smile at his lips. "You can take me however you want. I certainly will not protest and you do not need to explain."

"The Arrolyn he placed in me," I said quietly. "It has only recently been placed, but I wonder if it has done something to my senses." I paused. "Or if I am just obsessed with you." I looked at him. "You smell so good. And I am sore and exhausted and yet I cannot help but want you again." A pause. "I want to fuck you until I can’t breathe or move or think.”

He lifted me up, helping me straddle him, and put his hands behind his head. "I will not flip us over,” he promised.

"You always say that,” I said, not entirely believing him. We had tried this before, more than once, and each time something in him took over, some instinct that could not help itself, and I would find myself on my back before I had registered the shift. "If I do then slap me." My cheeks turned red. "I do not know why I did that. I'm sorr⁠—"

"Do not apologize for getting me hard."

“You are changing, husband. I do not know if you would have accepted a slap a mere year ago.”

He looked up at me. “Everything you do gets me hard. Truly.”

I eased down on him and began rocking back and forth. He reached for me but I shook my head. "I want to do all of it."

I eased down further until I was flush with his skin and began rocking. I saw him tense, fighting the urge. I eased myself up and down, my breasts bouncing and my moans growing louder.

I lifted up and whispered, "It is not enough." He stilled my hips gently and lifted me off him, turning me around.

I leaned down with my hands on his knees and began to move my hips more aggressively, sweat beading on my back.

I leaned back on him, my back flush with his chest. "Colsar," I breathed.

"Yes, Asha Bear."

"I — I want —"

My cheeks burned as I tried to muster the courage to say it.

He took his finger and rubbed it where there was fluid between us, then gently inserted it in my other entrance.

I began to moan. Then I stopped moving.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

I was quiet for a moment. "I thought somehow this would make this strange feeling better. But." I paused. "Emotionally I do not like how it makes me feel."

He looked at me. "What do you mean?"

My eyes welled. "I do not feel loved and protected like I do when." I stopped. "When you take care of me in this way."

He was quiet. His finger stilled.

"I know I have asked for this," I said. "And I know we have tried it before. But every time you end up taking over and I used to think it was just you needing control or me not doing it correctly, but I think." I paused. "I think I need you to."

He removed his fingers slowly and turned me to face him.

"You do not have to explain that," he said.

"I know." I looked at him. "I just wanted you to know it is not about control. It is about feeling you. Feeling that you have me."

I paused. "I feel so strange."

He sat up and kissed me softly. "I love you."