Page 49 of The Marriage Rebound

“Uh . . . are those things you can get on demand? Because . . .”

“See you soon,” Shae chuckled before hanging up.

I turned my music back up and readjusted in my seat for the remaining forty-five-minute drive. I wasn’t 100 percent sure what I hoped Shae and Doc could do for me, if anything, but I wasn’t a quitter and I had to know for myself that I tried everything.

I loved, and had love, for Sasha. When we met, I loved listening to her talk about her dancing. She had so many stories about customers, and other dancers. I remembered how she used to light up when she would talk about a new routine, and the video calls because she’d want to show off her moves. I had been drawn to her passion and drive and honestly had been surprised when she told me she was “retiring” from stripping “because it was time.” To learn that she’d done that, given it up because of me, or rather because of what she’d thought I’d think . . . I blew out a breath and squeezed the steering wheel.

Hearing it had annoyed me, but having time to think it over, it weighed on me. Especially after talking with Mya. I didn’t want her in this. It had nothing to do with her, but it was also unavoidable when she brought it up during a long-ass car ride that I couldn’t escape—not my brightest idea.

“She’s not wrong for wanting you around more, Court. Shocker, but I think your wife likes you and would probably like to see you more than the equivalent of two months out of the year.” She’d given a half shrug. “I know I would.”

The last part of her statement had hit me hardest. Yes, I was gone, but for a reason . . . for them. Yeah, sure, Sasha wanted me home more, but she also wanted . . . stuff. However, with the new information that she had nothing of her own because she’d walked away from the one thing she enjoyed and was passionate about, I was unknowingly expected to fill that void in her life.

That was also a heavy weight to bear.

But Mya had also implied she too wanted to see me more. I don’t know why that’d caught me off guard as much as it had. It gave me pause and made me think I needed to reevaluate how I viewed my role in their lives.

Forty-five minutes later, I pulled into Doc’s driveway. I sat in the car for a little bit before killing the engine and getting out. I didn’t really know what I hoped for coming here, but I knew a change was needed, for both our sakes. We—I—couldn’t keep pretending everything was fine while more cracks formed. Doc and Shae had the most stable relationship I knew. Hopefully, they could point me in a direction to getting Sasha and I on the right path.

The nagging question popped back into my head. Did I want it to work?

With the bad days seeming to outnumber the good days now, I was getting tired of all the issues and the drama between the two of us. We were good before, but that had been the honeymoon phase of the relationship. Were we truly so fundamentally different? I shook off my nagging thoughts and climbed from the car.

When I knocked on the door, Khadijah answered with a big smile as she wore her baby nephew in a sling. “Courtney,” she said, leaning in for a hug. “Come on in.”

“Hey, sorry for just popping up.”

“Girl, no big. You want something to drink, to eat?”

I shook my head. “I’m good. What up, Shae.” I acknowledged my friend who sat on the couch, flipping through channels.

As I made my way inside, I noticed that Shae hadn’t been joking about how prepared Doc was for her nephew. A baby gate was installed on the stairs, but not just the basic kind you pick up at any store; hers looked professionally installed. Her beautiful live-edge coffee table was covered in foam pieces around the sharp edges, and all the outlets I could see already had protective plugs in them.

“Damn, Doc.”

“What?”

I pointed toward the table. She rolled her eyes and sighed. “Don’t you start too. That one has given me enough grief,” she answered, thumbing toward my friend who just shrugged, but didn’t deny.

“When Peanut starts moving about, she’s probably gonna find him some wearable bubble wrap.”

I snorted a laugh as Doc scowled at Shae, then tried to reel it in when she turned her annoyance in my direction. “I’m . . . um, I’m sure Jah is thankful to know her kid is in such great hands.”

“Nah, Jah gives her shit too. Says Dijah’s house is more prepared than her own.”

“Because she’s ungrateful. Wanna talk shit, but still use my babysitting services. All of y’all suck,” Doc grumbled as she gently removed the wiggly human from the sling. My eyes widened as she approached me, preparing to hand him off. “Bathroom break,” was her only explanation as she adjusted my arms to better hold him.

I looked down at him, awkwardly cradling the tiny human, and he stared right back with his big brown baby doll eyes. My experience with infants was limited, as in I usually admired them from afar. At least until they were a bit more sturdy. I glanced over when I heard the click of a picture being taken.

“What was that for?”

“Because I need to show Tina.” Shae put down her phone, then leaned over to adjust my arms so I wasn’t holding them at such an odd angle. Which wasn’t easy with the cast I still sported. “Relax, they can smell fear.” She laughed at her own joke, but it only served to spike my anxiety.

“Maybe you should take him.”

Shae waved me off. “You got him. His neck isn’t as floppy as when he was fresh out the womb, so you good. But still support it.”

“Support the neck. Got it. Don’t want to mess up and upset him,” I said, doing my best to ease my arm down so he rested more in the crook of my elbow.