Page 46 of The Marriage Rebound

“’Xactly.”

One-sided? I wanted to call Nish out because when she’d needed me when things went south with her ex I’d been there, but I held my tongue, because that’s what friends did. Or so I’d thought.

“Well, damn. If I treat y’all so badly, why y’all show up?”

Denise held up her glass. “You pay.”

“Denise!” Tanisha scolded.

“What? I mean, Nish, maybe it’s different for you. But, shidd, why not have some quid pro quo.”

I took a sip of my sweet tea. “Damn! It’s like that?”

All Denise did was shrug as she continued to enjoy her food and drink. Selfish . . . a word that had been used to describe me plenty. But I didn’t expect that from my friends. Yeah, they’d both made a few comments over the last couple of weeks since I’d been with Courtney more, but I didn’t only hang out with them when things were on the fritz. This was all too much at once. I shot a look over at Tanisha.

“I can afford my own. Always have. Always will. But . . . I get what D is sayin’. However,-” she continued quickly before I could interrupt her, “I come because I genuinely think you could use some guidance. You’re only twenty-five. There is still room for growth. Now, whether you be in the mood to hear what I got to say, that’s a different story.”

She gave me a pointed look and I knew what she meant. Most times I thought she was always trying to play Switzerland instead of just being Team Sasha like Denise usually was, and I wasn’t trying to hear that. “You g’on let her gas you right on up out of a relationship.” The comment Nish had made the night at the club hit me.

Having someone feed into my frustration had felt good at the time, but knowing Courtney was still bothered by how everything went down after the championship . . . more than bothered. She’d left me over it, and was still deeply hurt by my actions, or lack thereof.

“Fine. Whatever, y’all here, so . . .” I drank more of my tea, but needed something stronger. With Courtney’s comment lingering in the back of my mind I was trying not to drink, even though one of the main reasons I’d invited them over as opposed to going out was so I wouldn’t have to worry about driving.

Not drinking flew out the window when faced with the knowledge that currently the only person in my life who didn’t think I was selfish was my sister-in-law—and Big Mama, but she didn’t count since she always saw the best in me. This was all on top of learning the real reason my wife never finished the conversation about having children was because she thought I was too irresponsible to be a mom. That shit hurt.

“Yeah, we are here. What was the 911 about?” Denise asked, cleaning her hands, not the least bit ashamed to admit she saw our “friendship” as something transactional.

I took a long pull of my drink. They were here, had come despite whatever they thought about me. “Do y’all think I’d be a good mother?”

“You want kids?” Denise asked.

“Why you sound so shocked?”

“’Cuz you ain’t never mentioned domestic life, at least not when it came to kids.”

Again, I shot a look at Tanisha, knowing she was there at dinner when Courtney and I had the disagreement. I lifted a shoulder. “I don’t tell y’all all my business. But yeah, it’s been somethin’ Court and I have been in talks about, but we have differin’ views on when we should take that step.” That might have been the CliffsNotes version, but it got the point across.

“Uh . . . that . . . sounds—”

“Like you leavin’ some ish out,” Denise finished for Tanisha.

I twirled my glass, causing a mini tornado of brown liquid and ice. “Okay, and I may or may not have said somethin’ at Thanksgivin’ about visitin’ a fertility clinic. She got pissed off, and we had a big fight, and she basically said I’d be a bad mom. Can you believe that shit?”

They both frowned as they stared at me. It was Denise that spoke first. “Um . . . girl, you drinkin’ while pregnant?”

“What? No! The fuck you ask me that for?”

“’Cuz you said you went to a fertility clinic.”

I rolled my eyes. “For information.”

“How the hell was I supposed to know that? You know yo ass be impulsive sometimes,” she retorted with a shrug.

“Focus. Did you miss the part where I said she called me a bad mom?”

“You went without discussing it with her?” Tanisha asked.

The way she frowned, scrunching her face up as if she’d tasted something foul when she asked the question, put my defenses up. Just like Courtney’s reaction had.