Page 7 of Found in Wild Sage

I drop Charlie at the school and leave him in the capable hands of Miss Hazel and Miss Clementine, with whom I’m fairly certain Charlie is completely in love as she’s also his sometimes babysitter, and pull in deep breaths as I walk back to work.

Toward Declan. A man I’ve—no. We’re not going there. Thinking about my endless crush right now is the wrong move.

Yet again, my mind has shut down from the overload. The good feelings of seeing Charlie and Declan together which feel a little bit like heartbreak, and the ache when I say goodbye to my son even while I also feel relief, and the… whatever it is I feel as I approach Juniper View Clinic… They all pile up on me and it’s an internal whiteout.

Inside the building, Dr. Ryan is thumbing through a folder. Maggie’s bustling around in the staff break room across the hallway. My bag is placed on the counter next to my computer, as usual.

So maybe I’ll just talk to him later. Maybe he won’t⁠—

Our gazes snag when I round the counter and he looks up from the papers in his hand. “We’ll talk later.”

I only nod. Looks like we’re still doing this. He’s not giving anything away. Guess it means I have to wait.

And instantly start counting down to whenever later will be.

CHAPTER FOUR

Declan

At exactly noon, my little sister delivers lunch.

May sweeps in like the usual burst of sunbeams she is, two brown sacks of food and a tray of drinks in hand.

“Never fear, lunch is here!” She raises the bags high, and Maggie applauds.

The Khan kids and their mom bustle out after greeting her, and I intercept before anything gets distributed.

“Maggie, I believe this is yours—turkey breast on whole wheat with extra veggies?” May hands a nodding Maggie a bag and passes her a plastic cup of ice water and a straw. Maggie pops up and is already on the way out of the clinic doors before May can dole out the other food.

“And this is yours, Evie. Dec, yours is in there, too.” Her eyes hit mine.

She sees straight through me—or at least she thinks she does. She has no clue what’s happening here, but she knows I like Evie. I’m sure most people have some idea I think she’s lovely and I like Charlie.

They don’t know the half of it, though, and they don’t know what we’re about to discuss in the break room.

I tend to keep my emotions locked up tight. It’s not a false sign of masculinity as the cultural idolization of men not expressing anything might tell us. It’s simply easier to handle them. I don’t do well with a messy in-between. That said, there is one person who makes it incredibly hard to practice this decades-old method I’ve put in place, and her name rhymes with Stevie.

“Thanks, May.”

“That’s so kind. What do I owe⁠—”

“Lunch is on me today. Janet and Kyle already had plans.” The nurses tended to head out for lunch, whether to get a break from the office or meet family.

Ideal, considering this will give us a few moments of privacy in the little gazebo out back. For mid-August, it’s not nearly as hot as one might think if there’s shade, so we’ll eat outside. That way, she won’t feel trapped.

“Sure thing. I’ve got a few more deliveries so I’m out!” May pats the counter twice, then waves high above her head as she exits.

Lunch delivery is one of her many “side gigs” as she calls them, though she has at least one full-time job as it is. Plus, she does this for free, so it isn’t exactly a gig. It’s part of her endless list of duties she stays busy with, and I wonder when she’ll run out of energy. More than once, I’ve wondered how much of her stubborn service to our town in big and small ways is rooted in the fact that she couldn’t serve in the military like the rest of our family did. Or maybe it’s all to prove her surgery and condition don’t define her.

For now, she jogs down the sidewalk, so I turn the lock on the door. Maggie can get back in through the staff entrance, but she won’t be back for another half hour at least, nor will the nurses.

When I turn back, Evie is standing there staring at the bag set on the counter. Her brow is pinched with worry and her breathing is shallow.

It’s intolerable seeing her like this.

“I can unlock the door if you prefer.”

Her gaze snaps to meet mine. “What? No, that’s fine.”