Page 19 of Found in Wild Sage

I assume it’s a disappointment, and internally berate myself for the choice. I didn’t get her a solitaire, and I should’ve. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want something that would protrude. I remember Eirinn saying her ring would get in the way or even scrape the kids when they were little so she preferred a simple band. I thought maybe just two bands would work, but we can change this or get⁠—”

Before I can make sense of what’s happening, Evie has unbuckled and is practically sitting on the center console, wrapping her arms around me.

Around. Me.

She is hugging me and saying something, but there’s a mute quality to my hearing. Her voice is far away while the warm, soft touch of her fills my brain with fireworks.

My hands have done their job, returning the embrace with a press of one palm flat against the delicate wing of her scapula and the vertebrae of her upper spine. The real-life feel of her sends a buzz through me, but also, miraculously, anchors me back to the moment and I can hear her.

“—so thoughtful of you. I’m just…” She leans back and there are tears in her eyes and a smile on her face that is utterly destructive to me. “I’m so grateful.”

Everything in me freezes. The warmth emanating from her one hand on my shoulder and my arm still looped around her back drops into single digits temps and I ease away.

Gratitude.

Of course.

It’s just a deal for her. I want everything. Which I can’t have.

Best I pull myself from that ledge before I tumble. It’s not even pride here. This is simply self-preservation.

“There’s nothing to be⁠—”

“Don’t be silly. You’re doing all of this, and I don’t see how it benefits you at all. I’m still worried about that, Dec. I⁠—”

She’s skewering me with her sweetness and the tear that snuck out before she wiped it away. Calling me Dec for the first time, and Charlie in the back now mimicking, “Dec-Dec-Dec-Dec!”

I may not be getting everything I want, but it’s also not nothing.

“I do benefit.”

This cuts her off, but I see the expression of hope there. She desperately needs to understand this. Me. And I’ve realized I do have a reason. There’s a motive beyond my desire to help her, my desire for her, that I’m doing this.

“My family has been worried about me. I tend to keep to myself. I’ve not dated much and I haven’t at all since moving here. I know they look at me in my mid-thirties and feel it’s time for me to find someone.”

They know I’ve always wanted that but haven’t had anything come close—haven’t dared nor even desired to try.

But I don’t say that part.

“So this would help them think you found someone?” Her stunning blue eyes blink back at me. “That you found me?”

My eyes close slowly, almost painfully against her words. She has no idea how right she is. “Yes.”

She slumps back in her seat and releases a long, slow breath, then rolls her head to the side and grins.

“Honestly, I’m relieved.”

I nod. I don’t have the heart or stomach to comment or even process that.

“Good. Then let’s go officially introduce you. The attention will be on Sisi since it’s her party. We’ll slide under the radar, and I can let my parents know about the courthouse date when we book it.”

There’s a flicker of worry, or maybe concern, before she smiles again. “Good plan.”

I signal and merge back onto the road, then almost immediately turn onto my parents’ property and begin the long approach to the farmhouse.

Good plan. Sure.

Marrying the only woman I’ve actually had interest in in years, with whom my entire life already entwines, and being subjected to her gratitude?