Page 60 of Blood We Steal

So as we approached the closet, passing through the areas I was familiar with and deeper into what felt like the bowels of the prison, I maintained hope. Food fairy, please deliver us a miracle.

Clipboard in hand, I stopped in front of the door. “Here,” I said, looking at Rubin. He nodded and I went to open it. But he lifted a finger. “Step back,” he said, not looking at me.

“Okay.” The door was heavy steel and I didn’t hear anything. Rubin turned the knob and pulled it open.

And I froze.

Those things poured out like clowns out of a clown car, one after the other after the other, each wounded in a way more grievous than the last, until the last emerged and he wasn’t wounded at all.

There had been maybe thirteen of them in a closet with four circuit breakers and a hot water heater.

“Besnik.” Rubin said it quickly, and Besnik moved into action. “Simone, back up.”

He shouldn’t have had to tell me that, but I had been stunned, and then moved, warring internally because I wanted to help—knowing that I couldn’t, that they didn’t need me—and soon the last one fell limp, finally fully dead.

The floors would have to get cleaned again. I glanced up at Rubin, who wiped his knife on one of the zombie’s pants.

“What is it?”

“The door. It was locked from the outside,” I whispered.

Rubin’s expression was grim. “Get Aaron and some of the others and clean this up.”

Besnik moved, and I stared at Rubin as he stared at the scene.

Aaron squeezed my shoulder but didn’t speak as he, Lorik, and Kane helped Arben and Besnik clean the bodies.

I tried to catch Aaron’s eye, needing the comfort of connecting with him. He refused to look at me, and that familiar feeling started to creep over me. I tried to force the thought away. Aaron loved me; he wasn’t rejecting me, he was just being smart. I needed to be too. I also needed to take care of myself, and as they dragged the last body away, the depth of my inability to do so slapped me in the face.

I turned away from Aaron and met Rubin’s eyes, and felt the depth of his examination and how utterly wanting he found me.

I was so embarrassed, I couldn’t be angry at his terse, “Come, Simone.” Instead I followed, docile and weak as I’d proven myself to be.

When we reached the warden’s office, I kept my head down, eyes lasered on the bathroom door, hoping to make it before the tears fell.

Rubin grabbed my arm and held me in place, his cold eyes stripping every layer I so valiantly built.

I studied him back, hoping for just a glimpse of what he saw, wondering if I could stomach the truth of it.

He dropped my arm.

“Get some sleep, Simone.”

He turned away before I could speak, and he didn’t look back.

I told myself I was glad.

TWENTY-EIGHT

Simone

“Come with me,” Rubin said.

“Where are we going?”

He waited like I hadn’t even spoken.

With a sigh, I slipped my feet into my sneakers. I’d only managed to take them off the night before. That was an old habit I thought I had shaken, but back then I’d never known when I might have to run, so sleeping with shoes on was almost normal. I’d been proud of myself when I’d stopped doing that, but here I was. I stood and grabbed my clipboard, certain that Rubin wanted to do another inventory.