Page 53 of Blood We Steal

I arched a brow. “Don’t you?”

“A question with a question, Simone. Of course you’re hardened. If you weren’t, you would have fallen apart by now,” he said.

“Why? ’Cause I’m a woman?”

He shook his head. “No. Because it’s the end of the world. More of an excuse than anybody ever needed. But you’re taking it like it’s nothing,” he said.

“You don’t seem to be falling apart either.”

“That’s because I can’t. I fall apart, and who steps into the breach?” he said.

“The COs, the warden. Everybody fends for themselves.”

“Yeah. A nice thought, but I’m the krye. The boss. This is my responsibility. The end of the world doesn’t change that.”

“Why are you telling me all this?” I asked, looking at him.

Truthfully, I appreciated him talking to me. I wasn’t exactly sure why. But then I landed on something. When Rubin spoke to me, it was with honesty, no pretense. That was rare and valuable. It had nothing to do with me. Rubin was honest with everyone, but it still meant something. Something I appreciated.

Something I betrayed.

I pulled my hand away from Rubin’s at that thought and didn’t look at him.

“Ah, so just because you have to stay sane. That’s why you have to…” I trailed off.

He held his gaze on mine. “Absolutely. There’s no other option.”

I had taken a step away, but he was close to me now. His face inches from mine. I stayed frozen, wanting him to move closer, unwilling to move until he told me to. It was pathetic, really. But as dangerous as this was, as insane as Rubin was, as much as he hated me… I couldn’t deny the relief.

How…safe I felt with him.

A lie, one of the worst lies, but I felt it nonetheless.

And it scared me to my core.

Even though I wasn’t looking, I felt Rubin approach. His touch was a soothing balm even though it should have been the opposite. I leaned into him ever so slightly, and in the space of a breath, he had those stupid uniform pants down and his cock inside me.

The shock of his intrusion melted into something I couldn’t name.

I couldn’t even let myself try to name it because it didn’t matter.

All that mattered now was Rubin, what he made me feel. What he kept me from feeling.

Instead I took what he gave and let Rubin fuck me against the wall, hard, deep, rhythmless, and craved every stroke, because this was what mattered.

It had to be enough.

TWENTY-FIVE

Simone

“Oh, some peace and quiet,” I muttered.

I had left the warden’s office. Rubin was sleeping. It was early, pre-dawn, but the sun would be up soon. I had spent a moment—just one—watching the sky. It was hazy, and I couldn’t tell if it was clouds or the remnants of the fire. But I supposed it didn’t matter. I was surprised when I slipped out without Rubin noticing, but I was grateful for it.

Before, I’d spent almost all of my time alone. Even the casual conversations at the bank could be taxing. I hadn’t had more than a few seconds alone in days. Hadn’t really wanted them and Rubin wasn’t especially chatty, but today, I needed space.

A hot commodity here behind these bars.