Page 7 of Total Jane Wreck

Axel Rose gets two horses, one with a freckled coat and the other a gorgeous copper-colored stallion, out of the ring and into the barn. Then I lead Miss Adele into the pasture, where she takes off running, grateful for the freedom.

Axel Rose turns to me. “Thank you for the help. I’m very grateful. But, um . . .” she wrinkles her nose “. . . who are you?”

“I’m Jane. It’s nice to meet you.” I hold out my hand to shake.

“And I’m Rose.” She shakes with me. “But everyone calls me Axel Rose. I got the nickname during my Bon Jovi groupie days.”

“Ah.”

“So, Jane, what brings you to Resilience Ranch?”

“Well . . .” I offer her my most winning smile. “I actually came here to see if you’re hiring. Maybe it was fate, me showing up when I did. It would have been devastating for Miss Adele if y’all had sent her back. She seems like a good horse. Betcha she’s just misunderstood.”

Axel Rose shifts her weight, looks at Miss Adele, and then back at me. “You’re here looking for a job?”

“Yes, ma’am. I grew up in Lexington, where my family owns a stable that boards and trains horses. Now, while my background is in thoroughbreds, a horse is a horse, and my one true talent is understanding how to communicate with them. Plus—I may be small, but I’m strong, and I’m not opposed to menial labor, like mucking out stalls or hauling around feedbags. Whatever chores need doing, I’m your gal.”

Axel Rose takes all this in, her face barely moving. “Why here?” she asks.

“Pardon?”

“Why Resilience Ranch?” Her tone isn’t unkind, just curious. “Why not some other ranch where there’s less work but more excitement? We take in displaced horses. Surely you’d have more fun at a real training ranch. Or why not just stay in Kentucky?”

I scuff my heel against the dusty ground. “Simple. I left Kentucky after catching my fiancé in a compromising position with my sister-in-law.” Axel Rose’s mouth drops open. I hold up one hand, fingers splayed, keeping her from breaking in. “There was more to it than that, of course, but you get my gist.” I shrug. “Anyhow, I drove out West because horses are my life and I figured this might be where I belong. My best friend Brontë says it’s like The Chicks’ song, ‘Wide Open Spaces,’ that I need room to make a big mistake. Not,” I quickly amend, “that I’ll make a big mistake here, should you decide to hire me. But I’m extremely empathetic and I hate causing horses a moment’s pain. Couldn’t bring myself to use a riding crop—and if Resilience Ranch aims to give down-on-their-luck horses a second chance, that’s perfect because what they really need is kindness, right? Being kind to horses is all I want to do.”

Realizing that I’ve gone on so long that I’m out of breath, I stop and inhale. “Did that answer your questions?” I keep my tone pleasant and light. Yet also (hopefully) professional.

There’s a breeze. Axel Rose tucks that pink streak of hair behind her ear, out of her eyes. Nevertheless, she squints at me. “Do you have a criminal background?”

“Um, do parking tickets count?”

“No,” Axel Rose replies. “What about your employment history? Ever been fired? Can you provide me references?”

“Mmm . . .” Under Axel Rose’s gaze, I wilt a bit. “My entire employment history has been at my family’s business, Adkins Stables. My parents and my older brother, Reed, they’re my only references, and I already know what they’ll say.”

“What’s that?” Axel Rose asks.

“That I’m a well-intentioned, literal mess, because every time a horse suffers, I puke.”

“Come again?”

“Ya see,” I say, gesturing at my belly, “I have a sensitive stomach, and it’s scientific fact that our emotions and digestive systems are linked. But it’s not as bad as my family would make it sound.” I swing my arms toward Miss Adele. “I didn’t puke just now, while helping her out. Even when that brooding guy from inside the house suggested sending her back, I kept myself together.”

“You mean Chet?” Axel Rose asks.

“Yes, right. I heard you call him that.”

Her eyebrows shoot up. “You don’t know who he is?”

I shake my head.

“What about his girlfriend, Birdy Banks?”

“Nope,” I say. “Why, are they famous?”

“Internet famous,” Axel Rose answers.

“That explains it,” I reply. “Ever since someone filmed me puking during a horse race, I’ve been allergic to social media.”