Page 29 of Scandal with a Sinful Scot

She pushed past him and entered his room. Exhaling, he closed the door.

Abbie spun about to face him. “You asked me a question when we were out riding. I never replied.”

“You don’t have to tonight, perhaps—”

She nodded briskly. “Yes, I do. Who can sleep?” Abbie’s heated gaze slid across his torso. “Lord, you are a finely put-together man. The years have made you more enticing and attractive, blast you. I have never been this forthright and outspoken with anyone but you.”

“I was thinking of our first encounter when you knocked.”

A shy smile curved about Abbie’s lips. “Yes. I acted boldly from the beginning. I said that you were beautiful. We exchanged a couple of sentences and suddenly I was kissing you. And finding myself overwhelmed by your embrace.”

Garrett stepped closer. “We were drawn toward each other.”

Abbie nodded. “Always. The answer to the question that you asked this afternoon is… Yes, I want you. I never stopped.” He opened his mouth to speak, but she held up her hand. “I deluded myself into thinking I had safely hid away what we’d shared. As soon as I saw you in Standon it all flooded to the surface. I couldn’t pretend any longer. I realized that it was well past time to inform you about Megan.”

Clasping her hands in front of her, she met his gaze. “We have both apologized. As you said, there are scars on both sides. We will carry them for the rest of our lives. But I wish more than anything for the healing to begin in earnest.”

“Abbie, you…”

“This is far more intense than I thought it would be,” she whispered, interrupting him again. “My first instinct is to flee to my small house and hide. Forget it all. But I cannot.” Abbie stepped closer and laid her hands flat against his bare chest as she’d done during their first meeting. His skin burned from her touch, and because of it, he couldn’t stop the husky moan from leaving his throat.

“Though I want you, I yearn more for a fresh start. But we can only accomplish that if we place the past and all its scars behind us.” Her words were direct and honest, just as he remembered. Abbie tunneled her fingers through his thatch of ginger chest hair and he moaned again. “Which means that you must leave the curse behind you. It has ruled your life for far too long.” He stiffened at her statement. “Do not get your bristles up or allow your temper to say something you may regret.”

“As I have in the past, you mean?” His brows furrowed. “I pushed you away because I was genuinely concerned for your safety. Hell, I still am. I would do anything to protect you.”

“To the detriment of our young hearts.” Abbie glared at him, her mouth twisted in disapproval. “I waited three long weeks for you to show up at my door; I told you more than once that I lived in Brighton. I sat on our porch for days, waiting like a fool. You never came.” Her lower lip trembled. “You didn’t love me enough to ride in and claim me. I cursed you, for how could you do such a thing to us? Deliver such a mortal blow to our love?”

Her voice trembled, and Garrett’s heart squeezed at hearing the raw emotion in her words. “Then to discover that I was with child…I felt all at sea. Completely lost and alone. You had truly abandoned me. I had no choice but to inform my parents of my condition. At that exact moment, mired in despair, it struck me. I left. I did not stay and fight for our love. The blame did not all lay at your feet. Then I thought perhaps it was never meant to be. Perhaps I did not love you as deeply as I believed.”

She exhaled shakily. “To lessen the aching pain, I convinced myself that what lay between us was nothing more than base lust. With the decision made, I went to my parents, then, shortly thereafter, agreed to the marriage and promptly put you out of my mind.” Abbie laid her head on his chest and he slipped his arms around her, bringing her in tight against him. “But not out of my heart. No matter how much I denied it to myself and to my husband, Elwyn knew the truth. Despite it all, I loved you still.”

Garrett smoothed her hair. “Loved? Past tense?”

“Do not ask me to try and sort through my emotions in that regard. Not tonight.”

“Fair enough. But hear this truth from me: I deeply regret that I did not come and claim you. It is a regret I will carry all the days of my life. Could you truly find it in your generous and brave heart to forgive me? Perhaps we can salvage something consequential from this youthful wreckage.”

She sighed. “Not if you insist on placing the curse between us as a shield. If you cannot commit to me or love me with your entire heart and soul, then I do not want you at all. I won’t settle for any less. Elwyn taught me that much.”

He remained silent, taking in all that she had revealed. Abbie, as always, spoke from her heart. She deserved the same from him.

“Truly, Garrett. I don’t deny your family, past and present, has suffered wrenching personal tragedies. But we cannot allow it to keep us apart any longer,” she continued. “Nothing has happened to Megan or me. Perhaps the curse is broken at long last. Perhaps…our love was true. Isn’t it the requirement for breaking the curse?” she murmured.

“Supposedly, true love breaks it, but there is no unequivocal proof one way or another.” Could she be correct? It would go against everything that he believed in. “I watched my stepmother die horribly. She literally rotted away from a childbed infection before our eyes. Three weeks later, my infant sister gasped her last. At ten years of age, I swore never to let anyone close. But you burrowed into my heart and soul regardless. You hold them both captive. Even after all these years.”

He continued to smooth her hair as he spoke. “My sister-in-law, Fiona, languished of a heart infection for months, turning into a ghostly figure I did not recognize. My mother, whose memory I tried desperately to cling to but it faded from my recall anyway. Cancer ate at her until I was no longer allowed into her room. My earliest memory I have is of them lowering a casket into a dark grave. I was four.

“Death and mourning were the sum of my childhood. Watching how broken Julian was, how hurt. Thankfully, the twins kept the worst of the sorrow at bay. They livened up the house and brought us all out of misery. But I vowed, then and there, that no one would own my heart or break it, because I would refuse to love any woman.” He laughed cynically. “It was all for naught.”

He clasped the sides of her head, forcing her to look at him. She met his gaze with unshed tears gathering on her long lashes. “From the moment I saw you on the trail all those years ago, I knew you would shatter my plans to stay detached and removed from emotion. From love. I foolishly thought that we could enjoy a brief assignation and go our separate ways. God, I am an idiot.” He kissed her forehead. “I denied what was happening. Refused to accept what my heart told me. I believed that the only solution was to be malicious enough that you would never wish to see me again. It worked better than I had hoped. And it shattered me.”

“I am truly sorry for your childhood losses. I understand better why you believe in the curse as deeply as you do, but to let it come between us.” She gazed up at him. “We did not speak like this in the past.”

Garrett smoothed her hair once again. It was as soft as spun midnight silk. “There was not much opportunity for speaking. We used our bodies to communicate more than anything.”

“May we talk? Here?” Her look was eager and hopeful and he didn’t have the heart to refuse her. “I wish us to become acquainted. The people we are now.”

He nodded, then stepped away from her and motioned to his sideboard. “Would you care for a drink? I have Mackinnon single malt, my mother’s family’s own scotch.”