Page 55 of Stag

If he spoke, I had no idea, because I couldn’t see his face, and that was a frustrating situation to be in for such a vital conversation, so I gripped his hair in my fingers and tugged hard. His head shot up, and he cupped the back of it as my fingers slipped away.

“Ow. If it helps, pain isn’t my jam. Not that I’m a wuss. I just don’t find it sexy.”

Now he’s communicating! I grinned at him.

“I’m okay with it. If you want to spank me, I’ll be into it. Now, before you freak out again, I haven’t tried anal yet, but we can discuss that at a later d… Stag? Come back.”

He’d got up and left the room in a rush. I’d pushed him too far, and I hadn’t meant to, but it’s important to have boundaries in place for sex, and he needed to understand I barely had any, which meant that he wouldn’t need to fear breaching them. I wanted him to be free to explore things with me. To learn his likes and loves with me, and only me.

He’d been so worried about messing things up, but I was the one doing that. I was coming on too strong. I was pressuring him. How weird to be on the opposite end of such a situation. I’d certainly been where he is right now, and maybe that’s why I felt like hell for it.

I wandered the house, eventually finding him upstairs in the room he’d put some of his things in, because he hadn’t assumed we’d share.

“I’m sorry.” I approached him by the window, where I’d found him staring outside like he was trapped in here with me.

He shook his head, turning to look at me.

“I’m the one wussing out here.” I think he said wussing, but it wasn’t an easy word to read. I could tell from his face that it was the most likely option though.

“You’re not. I’m sorry. I’m too direct sometimes, more with you than anyone else, because I feel safe to speak up, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy for you.”

“Any other man would love that right now. I’m not saying I hate it, but I’m just realising that I’m not as comfortable talking about this stuff as I make out. I spent so much time bantering with the guys, and making out I’m the shit, but I’m a clueless pathetic asshole, who’s fucking up the best thing that ever happened to him.”

Oh my. I wanted to hold him, and smack him upside the head, all at once, because he wasn’t fucking anything up. If anything, he just kept endearing himself to me.

“The only way you could fuck this up is by holding back what you’re feeling, Stag, or what you want. You can’t scare me away by saying something, anything, so just say what comes to you. And if you’re done talking, and want to do something else, that’s fine too.”

He sighed, glancing outside at the mid-morning sunshine, finally turning to me with a grin.

“Wanna go for a ride?”

Oh. My heartbeat sped up instantly at the thought of another thrill ride on the back of his motorcycle.

“God yes! Let’s go.”

The words seemed to settle him, the tension leaving his shoulders as he reached for my hand, his face relaxed and smiling at the thought of doing what he loves. He glanced at my clothes and nodded.

“You’ll be fine in those jeans. Let’s get your boots on, and a jumper and heavy jacket. It looks warm, but I wanna go fast.”

Oh my god, that sounded perfect! I nodded and hurried to the room we’d stayed in, grabbing my boots from the corner, and digging a hooded jersey out of the drawer. By the time I reached the hallway downstairs, he was booted up, with his leathers on, his cut sitting on top, and two helmets in hand.

He looked nothing like the uncertain boyish man from upstairs. He was back to being the man I met, confident, smiling, relaxed.

“I’ve got an idea of somewhere to go for lunch, since we didn’t eat yet, especially since I seem to have a bit more cash than I thought. Ready?”

I pulled my coat on over the hoody and nodded, following him to the door as he opened it, letting me out first. He wore those hot leathers, and it made me wonder if I should get some sexy leathers to wear too. Would he like that?

He tapped my shoulder and I turned to look at him over my shoulder.

“Let’s go have fun, love.”

Fun sounded perfect, so I waited while he fastened my helmet for me, and then we were on his ‘ride’ as he called it, and moving. This time as we rode, I lifted my head more than before, watching the world flying by as we headed out into the country and past fields and trees. It was beautiful, even when I couldn’t focus on anything properly. It was all just green and beautiful, and all too soon we were slowing down again, stopping at a country pub.

Chapter Twenty-Three

This is what we both needed. Time out, fresh air, the roar of the engine, and distance from everyone and everything. We stepped into the cool air of the pub, and headed for the bar, where we were encouraged to pick a table for our food to be delivered to. It was fairly busy, almost loud enough in there to provide that comforting buzz of background noise, something I knew Claudia couldn’t hear. We found a table and sat down with our drinks, an alcohol free beer for me, because I’d found one I liked, and I wouldn’t drink it in front of the guys, but it was perfect for a warm day like this, and a cider for Claudia.

“This place is nice, you’ve eaten here before?” She asked, sipping her cider as she glanced around us. I had, but only once because the food was a little pricier than I could normally manage. Not something that was a problem with all that extra money from the Bennetts in my account. When you think about it, it wasn’t a bad life. So I have to beat up some people, and maybe they’re not all bad people, but maybe it was better me than one of their others. I could go a bit easier on people, and give them a chance. That Marco asshole probably broke their bones even when he was going gently, if such a thing existed.