Page 47 of Stag

Idon’t know if he knocked or not, but I felt the bed move, and sat up with a jump. Stag was standing at the foot of the bed, a nervous look on his face. He looked as unsure of himself as I’d ever seen him.

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t rejecting you. I was freaking out. I need to tell you some stuff, and I wish I could sign it, although I’d probably fuck that up too. Secret number one, I always get this stuff wrong. Hell, maybe it’s not even a secret. I’m the biker most likely to offend. I’m a fucking mess.”

I gestured at the bed, and he sat down, crossing his jean clad legs so he could face me.

“Some of this stuff is embarrassing, and some of it’s downright scary. You might not want to be anywhere near me once you know these things, so uh…” he dug out his phone and tossed it to me.

“Oh, I added a passcode, because apparently I’m a dick for not locking my phone. It’s 6969. Original, I know. If you want away from me, use speed dial one. It’s Micro, the club pres. He’ll get people here fast. I’m not a threat to you, and I could never be, but that doesn’t mean you have to trust me.”

My heart was starting to thunder in my chest, another inaudible thing so intense I could feel it. I rested a hand over my heart, and straightened the phone in front of me.

Stag waited until my eyes were on him again. “Test the code. Just so you know I’m keeping you safe.”

I sighed, swiping the screen and typing 6969. It opened up on a banking app which was also waiting for a passcode, but that just meant it’s what he used last. He was being truthful. I could get into the phone if needed to. I shoved it aside, and looked at him again.

“Tell me.”

He sighed, a heavy breath I could see him expelling as he sagged a little, his position of power becoming more and more diminished as he stared at me. I wished I could offer him comfort as he bared his soul, but he was so certain he was about to horrify me with these revelations.

“I’m an accountant. That’s boring, I know, but it’s what I do. I love numbers. I love the certainty of numbers. I uh… they’re laying people off. I’ve been there five years, but I’m expendable. I’m on the list for redundancy, so uh, I did something stupid, and I don’t know my way out of it now.”

Did he say he did something stupid? Did I just read that right?

“Something stupid?”

He nodded, his shoulders sagging even more, like the weight on them was increasing by the minute, like brick after brick was piling on as he spoke.

“I accidentally agreed to work for some fucking crazy bastards who think they own me now. The money’s great, but they seem to know everything, and they even know I’m here now instead, and they paid me without my details, and it’s freaking me out.”

“Wait, what? I don’t understand.” What was he trying to say? It was so confusing, but making me nervous.

“They know fucking everything, even stuff I’ve told nobody. It’s like they’re in my head, and I’m… I don’t know, like they can see shit nobody knows. They knew about me, and nobody else knows about me. It’s freaky.”

“What? What do they know? Am I in danger with you?” I reached for the phone and he nodded at the gesture, approving of my readiness to call for help, even though I had a feeling I never would.

“Feel free. I won’t stop you. I’ll want to, but I won’t.”

“Stag, I feel like you’re trying to tell me everything and telling me nothing instead.”

He dragged a hand through his hair, and ran his tongue over his lips.

“I’m saying I’m a fucking pathetic virgin, and they knew! I guess I can pretend I’m like everyone else, but they saw it. They know. And now so do you.” His eyes were wide, as if he just realised he’d told me something so private and, to him at least, humiliating.

“You’re a virgin?”

He did another of those deep breath sighs, and nodded, tugging at his hair again.

“Women don’t like me. It’s not like I don’t try, but I just can’t get women to even talk to me, and if they do, it’s usually to call me a dick and slap me.”

I moved up onto my knees, crawling closer to him, his vulnerability shining so brightly right now that I wanted to soothe him, to show him that it didn’t make me think less of him. It was… well, kind of adorable, to be honest. He had this secret that he’d kept for however long, from his entire brotherhood, and he’d trusted me with it.

“It’s okay,” I said, and he rolled his eyes.

“Sure. So hot to be the one man nobody will fuck. You picked a dud, love. I’m nobody special. In fact, nobody’s ever seen me as special.”

“I do.”

He shook his head, but I moved close enough for my knees to touch his legs, and grabbed his chin, making him look at me. It was a dominant move I’d never made before in my life, but he was spiralling and I could help him. I knew I could, he just had to hear me.