Page 27 of Life Or Death

“Isn’t it?” I turn my face away. She knows my biggest fear has always been that I would end up like my mother, and she all but paved the way for me to follow in her footsteps. “I’m his property now.” My voice breaks. “And you helped make that happen.”

There’s a part of me that knows I’m being unfair to her and, well, even to Lucifer. The truth is, before the fire, the man intrigued me. I mean, the night everything happened, I remember I kept staring at the table reserved for the Fallen Demons, wondering where he was, desperate to feel the high that came whenever he looked at me.

But that was then, and this is now.

“You don’t mean that,” Tori says, her voice cracking. “You’re just upset, and I get that. But I would never make the choice I made if your life wasn’t at stake. I need you to know that.”

I turn my face toward the window, unable to look at her, but I can feel the weight of her stare as she waits for a response. But I have nothing left to give her or this fucked-up situation.

After a long moment, Tori clears her throat.

“You’re allowed to be mad,” she says softly. “At me. At what happened to you. At everything. I’m going to give you time to process everything. Just know I love you, and I’m here for you.”

Tears fill my eyes, but I don’t let them fall.

“I’ll try to come and visit tomorrow,” she continues. “But if you’re feeling lonely, you can call me.”

The bed shifts as she stands, and I hear the soft pad of her footsteps as she crosses the room. The door clicks shut behind her, leaving me alone with my thoughts, my pain, and my anger.

Several minutes pass, and guilt churns in my gut. Jess didn’t deserve what I said to her. She’s been my rock since the day we met at the shelter. Took me under her wing and gave me a shot at making a decent life for myself. That’s a lot for a young, single mom, and she never once asked for anything in return. I should text her to apologize.

My fingers move to type a message, but when I go to pull up her number, my gaze catches on the third name on the list, and my stomach drops.

Lucifer.

My thumb trembles over the screen. I should delete his contact, but my fingers won’t move. Instead, I just sit there, staring at his name. After a while, I close the contacts app and lock the screen, setting the phone face-down on the rolling table. The anger that had begun to soften toward Tori hardens again. How convenient that she forgot to mention she had added his number to my list of contacts.

The clock on the wall reads 2:47 AM when I jolt awake, my heart hammering against my ribs. The scream dies before it can escape my lips, but the sounds and images of the nightmare play over in my mind.

It felt so fucking real.

Fire licking at my skin, the crushing weight of the mechanical bull, and the smell of burning flesh. I can still feel the heat and taste the smoke in my throat. My hands tremble as I clutch the thin hospital blanket.

Panic rises in my chest, making it hard to breathe. I reach for the call button, my fingers fumbling in the darkness until they find the plastic remote. I press it hard, and I begin to count.

One.

Two.

Three.

No one comes.

The nightmare flashes before me, and I close my eyes. I remember screaming for help. Those calls went unanswered just as they are now.

Four.

Five.

Six.

I press the button again, and a moment later the door opens. A sliver of light from the hallway spills across the floor, and a nurse I don’t recognize steps inside.

“Mrs. Holland? Are you okay?”

I try to speak, but my voice fails me. Instead, I drop the remote and reach for her, my hand trembling in the air between us. She crosses the room quickly, her scrubs rustling as she moves.

“You’ve been pressing this for a while,” she says, her tone gentle but curious. “What do you need?”