Page 59 of This Time Around

“What? I di-” His face morphs into a painful grimace. “I hit my fucking hand on the stupid metal rail between the doors, and it hurt like a bitch. Look,” he says, holding out his hand. I stare at the faint yellow and green evidence of an old bruise across his knuckles.

“Listen, I’m over all the demands of being a professional athlete, the expectations women hold, and I was ready to connect with someone. I owe her an explanation and I hate that she’s been feeling like this. I mean, it explains a lot about how she’s acted towards me, but I don’t think she will hear it. So please, you’re my only chance. I’m glad she found you, Luke. At first I was hoping you were just a fling; I even tried to convince her it could be. I wanted a shot, but Knox is one of my best friends. He’s important to me, and I know Blake is one of Ana’s best friends. What Ana thinks is important to me, and right now, she thinks I am a giant shit bag.”

“Go on,” I sigh, not wanting to engage in this conversation. Not sure I even believe a word coming out of his mouth.

“I’d never had a one-night stand before, so I hurried out of there because I didn’t know what else to do. I was planning on getting her number from Knox after their honeymoon, but shit went sideways before I got the chance. I only knew she was upset because she stormed out of the hotel cafe, flipping me off. Now I know why, and I don’t blame her. She probably thinks I’m a giant tool.”

I let him ramble longer than I ever would have, surprised he wasn’t more of a playboy. There was also a small part of me that also wanted to hear him out-wanted to know he didn’t treat my girl like trash and thought more of her than she thinks.

“Blake is a fucking gift. I’m glad you see that, but I’m not sad you unintentionally fucked it up with her,” I sneer, dripping with arrogance. “She’s mine, Cash. But she won’t want to hear any of this from me. Maybe you need to talk to Knox,” I suggest as I walk away. “I’ll talk to you later.”

This is my life now, 15 steps forward and 15 steps back. While I am so fucking happy Adam is making progress, and Cash didn’t disrespect my girl, the feeling is fleeting when coupled with the desperation I have to be home. Really home.

It’s so Obvious

“Lost for you, I’m so lost for you

You come crash, into me”

-Dave Matthews Band

Blake

It’s been a few days since I called Luke. He is doing exactly what I asked, giving me space and letting me process my feelings, but fuck, part of me wishes he would forget everything I said I want and storm through the doors and reclaim me.

I’ve spent all morning here at L&L getting things ready for the night shift. L&L is open all day. Books and coffee by day, smut and cocktails by night.

It’s become the go-to place for quite a few book club meetups. Tonight we have a busier night than usual. Three book club reservations and tomorrow morning, we have a book signing for a local author. All resulting in L&L being closed to the public for the next two days. While I hate having to close to the public, it seems to have created this exclusiveness. The few times we have had to close, the next night we find ourselves busier than before.

My biggest hesitation right now lies in the fact we have a full house reserved tonight and I can’t be here. I have so much faith in Amari, she can and will handle it. I’m just sad I won’t be here to see a packed house. It’s my favorite sight.

Knox is finally opening a youth baseball facility he has been building from the ground up, and after all the unwavering support he and Ana have shown me, I wouldn’t miss his celebration for the world. Knox didn’t want a big fuss, so they only invited a few people to celebrate. I know it will be mostly baseball related friends, including Cash, so I am also planning on taking a run before I go to release some pent up energy I have so I don’t rip his face off.

“Ok, I have the bar restocked, inventory done, and the girls and I are going to set up the tables for tonight,” Amari reassures me as she walks out of the back.

“You are the best!” I smile. “I could not do this without you. Please take me up on my offer and take the next two days off. Please.”

“Blake, I have to work tonight, anyway. You hired me as your manager. The point of having a manager is to have someone who can take care of things so you can have time off, too. Plus, I’m not leaving you high and dry when we have two private events.” I inspect her expression for any hint of hesitation.

“I know, girl, but this is a big undertaking. It’s the first big event we have hosted. What if something goes wrong?” The worry in my voice echoes across the bar.

“Shit will probably go wrong, Blake. It’s a bar.” Her joking tone does nothing to comfort me. “Listen, if we fuck up their order or take too long, I’ll comp a bottle of champagne to the party. If they hate the atmosphere, they can get fucked. If they get too drunk and rowdy, the only one they can annoy is me. I’ll order them a ride share when they’re ready to leave using the vouchers we have in the back and send them on their way. If the bar catches on fire or floods, or heaven forbid a riot breaks out, I’ll call 911 and then I’ll call you so you can race down here.” She snorts out a laugh.

I roll my eyes. “Ok, when you put it that way, I would be ridiculous for worrying.”

“We can compromise. Tonight will be a late night, and tomorrow will be a long day. I’ll take the next day off,” she tries to negotiate.

“Paid,” I insist.

“Paid,” she repeats with a roll of her eyes.

“Who in their right mind argues with their boss over paid time off?” I question as she leaves the room.

“Have fun tonight.” She waves over her shoulder and the back door closes gently behind her.

I can’t take all of this. It’s been too hard, so I take the moment alone as a sign to try and mend one broken relationship.

After a few rings April answers.