Page 27 of This Time Around

After the bartender hands me our drinks, I make my way to her, timid like a teenage boy caught with his dad’s Playboys. “Hey you, see something you like?” Blake teases as she takes her drink.

“Obviously,” I respond, deciding it’s time to be candid about my feelings, skirting around them is becoming not only exhausting, but impossible at this point.

“Have a thing for oversized shirts and slipper shoes?” She laughs.

“I have a thing for thick thighs in leggings,” I declare with a smirk, “and when they’re attached to the redhead sitting across from me, they entice me even more.”

She takes a long sip of her drink and then exhales. “Let’s cut the shit Luke, why did you ask me here?”

“I made shit uncomfortable today,” I exhale as well.

“You sure as hell did.” She has nothing else to add, she just takes another pull of her drink.

“Should we just get to it, then? Address the elephant in the room,” I ask.

“There’s no elephant, Luke. Obviously, we’re attracted to each other, but you’re April’s brother, and she would never speak to me again if I had a one-night stand with you.”

I scoot closer and lower my voice, wanting my words to be for only her to hear. “Blake, I am extremely fucking attracted to you, but for me, it is so much more than your looks. It’s everything about you.” I want to be sure my intentions are crystal clear, “I love your confidence, how sexy you are in anything, anywhere. The way you bite your lip when you’re thinking hard, and how you paint them red. But even more, I fucking love the way you puff your chest out when you’re mad, the way you wrap your arms around yourself when you get upset, as if you’re comforting yourself, your ambition, your get-shit-done attitude, and the fact you don’t take anyone’s shit.”

“Luke,” she cuts in.

“I’m not fucking done,” I say with a bit of a warning in my voice. I take her hand in mine and shake my head, trying to reassemble my jumbled thoughts. “Fuck Blake, everything about you gets me going. But, most of all, it’s the slight hint of honey and vanilla as it invades my senses when you’re around. I want to bury myself in your scent.”

My cock stirs. As I reach over and place my hand on her thigh, I feel her shift slightly beneath my touch, her muscles tighten.

“My feelings for you have been building for years, five if you want to put a fine point on it. I’ll be honest, Blake, it was part of what ended my marriage. A husband should love his wife unconditionally and worship her. Instead, I found myself on more than one occasion left with the aching feeling in my gut, she wasn’t you. So stop fucking downplaying what you mean to me, B. I’m not some douchebag looking to get my dick wet. I know you have had your fair share of one-night stands, and to be honest, your blatant love for sex is hot as hell, and one of the many things I love about you. I know everything about you and I know your fucking worth. So, I’m going to finish what I tried to tell you at my parents’ house.”

I pause waiting to see if she will let me finish. To my surprise she doesn’t try to dodge the conversation, she looks at me, wanting me to continue. “If I were lucky enough to make you mine, you’d be mine forever, B. I wouldn’t just fuck you one night, I’d fuck you, and worship you every fucking night for the rest of my goddamn life.” I sit back and adjust my cock as it’s pushing hard against my zipper, not caring if she sees what she does to me.

She swallows and opens her mouth to speak, but then takes a drink before she starts, “You were with her for a long time, Luke. You don’t stay with someone for that long if you don’t love them.”

She’s deflecting, and I’m not sure where her confidence went that I’m used to, but I don’t fucking like it.

“Blake, I’ve had a thing for you for a long time. You are special, and when you and April came home for Christmas, right after you turned 21, everything changed for me. You walked in, and it had been a while since I had seen you, and, Blake, you took my breath away. My marriage was already in shambles, so I chalked it up to a harmless crush, a craving for the connection I was missing in my marriage, and I forced myself to forget you.”

I empty my glass, needing the courage to continue. I’m already in too deep to back off now.

“I went home and tried to focus on Noel, but unfortunately in our line of work, time passes faster than you realize. We were each so busy trying to make a name for ourselves, and throughout that she turned cold. I know it sounds like an excuse, but we grew apart. We worked opposite shifts, and before I knew it we were in marriage counseling, I moved out, and then back in. It took me years to admit it was over. We’d been together for so long, it was just comfortable and predictable, and I didn’t know how to leave. I thought about you often, but assumed it was only because I was missing something so vital in my marriage.”

She looks away, and I reach out for her hand to redirect her attention to me.

“Then I came home one night after getting sick at work and walked in on her fucking a resident in our bed. I wasn’t even mad, the opposite actually. I was relieved. When I saw her with him, the only thing going through my head was you. I was finally free from the shackles of my loveless marriage. We both deserved more than we could give each other. I tried to stay there, I really did. Noel and I actually worked better together after the divorce, but I decided I needed to be here.”

“So, you came here for me?” she asks skeptically. “ I thought you said you couldn’t bear seeing her everyday.”

“No, I came here because I needed my family after I got divorced, and I didn’t want to be around her. We had history, and it was hard, but I hoped I’d see you. There are a lot of fucking hospitals closer to my family, Blake, but being 45 minutes away from them is still a hell of a lot closer than Denver. It’s not a coincidence I work at the one across the street from the bar you work at,” I answer honestly.

“Stalker! You did come here for me,” she laughs, taking another drink of the amber liquid filling her glass. When she sets the glass down on the table, her eyes meet mine with a soft look, the brightness usually there, dimmed like a fading twilight, and then she continues, “Luke, why are you telling me this? Why now?”

“It feels like the right time.”

She swallows, and then she bites her goddam lip. I quickly reach out and push my finger against the skin below her lip, gently pulling her lip from her teeth. “Don’t fucking do that, Blake.”

“Luke, I’m kind of off the market right now.”

I quickly pull my hand away from her. “You’re seeing someone?” I ask, confused. I haven’t seen her with anyone. She hasn’t mentioned anyone.

“No,” she clarifies, and after a long exhale, she continues, “Luke, I know Cash.” I know my face looks puzzled. “My friend Ana married his old college teammate, Knox. I’ve told you about Knox.”