Page 24 of This Time Around

Luke: I’m glad you’ll be there. Oh, I think I found the perfect book for us to read next if you want to.

Butterflies erupt in my stomach as I read the text from Luke.

There was a palpable shift between us the other day at the hospital, and then we had so much fun when we ran into each other at the thrift store, that I don’t really know how to move forward from here.

The butterflies are fleeting, quickly replaced as my stomach turns into knots, guilt completely consuming me. I have to talk to April.

Luke and I are flirting with the line drawn between us every time we’re together, getting dangerously close to crossing said line, and she needs to know what’s going on before something happens we can’t take back and it blows up in our faces.

Me: I would love to! But we have to tell April.

Luke: Tell her what, exactly?

Shit, he thinks I’m crazy.

Me: That we’re spending time together… without her. You know if she finds out before one of us tells her, she will lose her shit. She has very little cool, Luke.

Luke: 😂You’re right, she’s a brat. I’ll mention it to her tonight.

Me: I did not say she was a brat! What’s the occasion? It’s been a while since your mom has invited me to dinner.

Luke: No occasion. I already told mom I ran into you, and she probably just misses you. Stop making this a thing.

The flutter in my chest from reading his text is now replaced by a heavy feeling. I’m so fucking stupid. To him, I’m just his little sister’s friend. I have to stop making it seem like it’s more than it really is when he keeps telling me it’s not.

Me: See you tonight.

I pick up the phone and dial Maggie’s number. It rings a few times before she answers.

“B, I’m so glad you called. Please tell me you are coming over tonight.” I can hear the smile in her voice.

“I wouldn’t miss it.”

“Oh, good. It’s been too long since I’ve had all three of you home.” You can hear the pure joy in her response.

Home. The Jennings’ house was the closest thing I have to a childhood home, at least through my high school years. But, I’ve convinced myself those are all the memories of my “childhood” I need, happy ones, who cares if they only date back to 14.

I imagine the warmth coming over me is a natural reaction people have to going back home after a while away.

“I can’t wait, Maggie. See you tonight,” I confirm before hanging up.

I spent the rest of the day doing anything and everything to distract myself from the feelings I have swirling around inside me for Luke.

I’ve spent almost 6 hours working on ideas for my bar. My last shift was a fucking nightmare; nothing like a toxic work environment to light a fire under my ass to get started on this.

After I put my laptop on the charger, I move to my closet to get ready. I decide it’s best to go with a more “natural” appearance tonight. There is no need to look like I’m going out when I’m just hanging with family. I opt for leggings and an oversized t-shirt big enough to hang off the shoulder, long socks and my fur lined clogs. After I throw my hair up in a high ponytail, I pull a few pieces out around my face, and top it off with a shiny lip gloss instead of my usual red lip. Aiming for comfort, I even take out my contacts and put my glasses on instead. It’s spring in Vermont, and the air has a cool bite to it at night, so I grab a cardigan to throw on if it gets too cold.

The drive to the Jenning’s house is longer than I prefer to travel, but the scenery makes it all worth it.

There are maple trees in full bloom lining the road leading into their neighborhood, and every house seems to be adorned with tulips and irises. Their house is about 45 minutes from Cedar Creek where I live, and it looks like a different world with rolling hills, natural plush flowerbeds, and maple trees as far as you can see.

I pull into the driveway just behind April, and my shoulders tense almost immediately, knowing this might not go well.

Ignoring the tightening sensation in my chest, I hop out of my car and make my way towards her and her little teal bug that adorably fits her bubbly personality.

April and I could not be more opposite. While we are both flirtatious, she has a much louder demeanor than I do. She has a stereotypical highschool experience. She was a cheerleader who brought high energy everywhere she went, was homecoming and prom queen, and made friends easily, while I spent my nights studying at the library. We were a picture perfect cliche.

Lately, our schedules are so busy and I miss her so much when weeks go by without seeing her. We grew apart during college, but we reconnected when she moved not too far from me, and love being able to meet up more often.