Page 94 of Waking Roslyn

I nodded. My mother had been doing this for far longer than I had, and she had taught me the secrets to navigating this horrible situation. So I let my eyes glide over the crowd, never letting them stop long enough to catch anyone’s eye. I kept my face pleasant, but not smiling. I would not acknowledge the rudeness of others who refused to acknowledge me.

I took a steadying breath and we moved into the room together.

For the first several minutes, I felt I was doing quite well. Those who did dare to address us did so with varying motives—curiosity, disdain, a wish to gather gossip—but I treated them all with the same distant kindness that I’d seen my mother use for so many years.

Then my gaze snagged on a familiar face. It had been four years, but the sneering visage of Neil Ravenna wasn’t something I was likely to forget, and all of my poise shattered. Instead of letting my eyes skim over him and move on, I was snared by his hostile gaze. His expression said that my very presence was an affront to all he held dear. My breath quickened as childhood hurts and present fears combined to steal any semblance of serenity I had been holding on to. It was a terrible thing to be hated.

I did my best to calm myself, but instead my stomach continued to tighten and my palms started to burn.

Until a hand pressed to my back. “Steady on,” John said from just behind me.

I finally broke my gaze away from Neil’s and focused instead on the warmth of his hand pressed to the middle of my lower back.

“I’m right here,” he said so only I could hear.

My breathing slowed and after a moment, I looked back to Neil. He had the gall to smile, a grotesque twist of his mouth, but then he looked away to acknowledge the gentleman who was approaching him.

Everett. That was just my luck. Not one, but both of my worst childhood tormentors. They spoke for a moment and then Everett’s eyes darted up, searching the crowd until they landed on me. I raised my chin and lifted my eyebrows, trying to look brave, but my courage failed me and I dropped my gaze.

“So, who are the fools standing over there, looking like your presence is offensive?” John asked as he stepped to my side. From the corner of my eye, I could see that he stood straight and alert, his hands now folded behind his back, and he didn’t look at me, but I knew that was because, as my guard, he had to keep his focus on potential threats, not on me. Normally, a guard wouldn’t have stayed so close to me, but we had all agreed that making it clear that I had protection close at hand was a wise precaution.

I let out a sigh, grateful to have his steady presence beside me. So he had noticed them, and no doubt many others had noted their hostile stance. “Those are the boys who used to torment me. The taller one is Lord Everett Malladon. And the shorter one, who looks as if he smelled something awful, is Lord Neil Ravenna.”

It wasn’t as if I hadn’t expected to see them. But knowing something was going to happen and actually experiencing that thing were very different. Both Lord Everett and Lord Neil looked so put together. They weren’t awkward, gangly youth anymore. They were men of power and position, and even though I outranked them, I certainly didn’t feel that way. I felt insignificant and wrong, the way I always felt around them.

“These are the sons of the men who are likely behind the plot to kill you?”

“Don’t say it like that. We don’t know that for sure.” And hearing the words out loud made all my fears rear up.

His eyes cut over to me for just a moment, like he wanted to argue the point. Instead he just said, “As you wish,” then looked back at the crowd. His eyes narrowed immediately. “They are coming this way.”

I sucked in a breath through my nose, bracing for impact but refusing to watch as they approached. I chose instead to look in the direction of the raised dais where the king and queen sat and tried to scrape together all of my courage, but it wasn’t enough.

“Well,” Neil said as he stopped in front of me, “if it isn’t the gutterling.” His grin was boorish, making him look so much like his younger self.

I pressed my lips together and my nostrils flared, hurt and angry and humiliated that he would so casually call me by that horrid name. I felt John stiffen behind me, but he didn’t move. I wanted to say something in my defense, but no words came.

“Ease up, Neil.”

My eyes darted to Everett, shocked that he would stand up to Neil, and even more shocked that it was in my defense.

My shock only increased when Everett bent into a small bow in my direction. “Welcome home, Lady Roslyn.”

I blinked, stunned. Was he mocking me?

“Ev, what are you doing?” Neil asked in an annoyed whisper. “This halfbreed doesn’t deserve your respect.”

This time, John did move. He stepped around me and planted himself between Neil and me. “Do you have anything else to say to Lady Roslyn?” he asked in a menacing tone.

I had to lean to the side to see around John’s frame. Neil was chewing on the inside of his cheek even as he sneered, and his eyes roamed over John’s uniform and down to the hand that John had rested on the hilt of his sword. Then he gave a haughty lift of his brow and said, “That’s all.” He cut his eyes over to me and curled his lip. “For now.” He took a swig of his drink before turning his back and walking away.

I suppressed a smile. It was lovely to see Neil so thoroughly humbled, especially when it was John doing the humbling. As soon as Neil was gone, John stepped out of the way and settled behind me once more.

Everett remained, watching Neil’s retreat, and when his eyes returned to me, he grimaced. “I apologize for Lord Neil. Apparently, he is under the impression that we are all still children and that such behavior was ever acceptable.”

It took me a moment to push past my stunned surprise and find my words. “Is that an apology?” I asked, unable to mask the doubt in my voice.

“No, this is,” he said with his hands behind his back as he looked me in the eye. “The way I treated you when we were children was abominable. I am loath to think about the pain I must have caused you, and I will not try to give any excuse for it. I’m sorry, Lady Roslyn. I won’t ask for your forgiveness, but I hope to earn it someday.”