Page 68 of Waking Roslyn

The corners of my eyes tightened. For what happened? As if he had as little control over his actions as he did over the weather.

“But this tension between us serves no one, and it’s upsetting Lisette.” The look of false concern just made me more angry.

I pressed my lips as I took a moment to steady my nerves. “The tension between us? That’s what you think Lisette is bothered by? Not the fact that you violently assaulted both her and me?” I trembled but lifted my chin. Saying such things was horribly uncomfortable.

“I told you I was sorry,” he said, only a bit defensively.

“And I believe you. But I won’t let you pretend that I am the source of Lisette’s pain right now. I guarantee I am not.”

A sneer flickered across his mouth, but he controlled it quickly. “Are you certain about that?”

“Yes.”

“What about this…tryst you’ve been having with the servant boy?”

Ah. So he would use deflection. “It is not a tryst, and I am not embarrassed by my friendship with John,” I said evenly.

“And you think that fact alone isn’t upsetting to Lisette?” he asked with a scoff. “She’s the future ruler of this land. Do you think she wants the embarrassment of having her relation and closest friend tarnished by a commoner?”

I turned to walk away. I couldn’t hear any more of his vitriol without exploding. I didn’t care at all that he was insulting me, and the fact that he was insulting John was almost to be expected. But his poisonous words were a condemnation of both my parents, even if he didn’t know it.

“Rose, listen to me.”

I stopped but didn’t turn to look at him.

“As my wife’s cousin, I care for you—as a brother. You are of an age when you must start seriously considering looking for a husband. You need someone who will care and provide for you. And if my sister were still living, I would give her the same guidance and caution that I am giving you now.”

I sighed. Of course he had to use his dead sister against me. I shook my head, still refusing to turn around.

“Society is not kind to those who show disdain for the culture and traditions that they value. Courting is difficult enough. Don’t make it more so by convincing yourself that a momentary flirtation can last beyond that moment.” There was a tremor that ran through his voice as he continued. “My sister…she made that mistake, and she died brokenhearted because of it.”

I turned to look at him, stunned by the sincerity and grief that clearly marred his face. I wouldn’t agree with him, but perhaps his advice didn’t come from an entirely pompous place. So I nodded, both in acknowledgement of whatever real pain he was feeling, and also in the hopes that he would let me be.

He nodded in return, seeming grateful for the acknowledgement. “And I’m sorry—for striking you.”

The fact that he’d just taken responsibility for his actions made me blink in shock. He gave a little bow and was about to turn away when I blurted out, “Just—”

He looked back at me.

“Don’t hurt her,” I begged.

He gave a nod and walked on.

I went to my room, brooding all the way. I had liked it better when I could simply dislike Edmund. And I certainly still disliked him. But now I knew he had a dead sister whom he had cared for. And a dead brother as well. He knew loss and held brokenness because of it.

Just like we all did.

But I also had some idea of what his brother was like. It was difficult to believe that anyone, much less a husband, would treat someone so abominably. It was terrifying to think Edmund might be capable of the same cruelty, especially if he was motivated by pain and anger.

16

Roslyn

A raindrop hit my nose and I looked up at the sky. We’d only been practicing for a few minutes, and I didn’t like the idea of the weather interrupting our session. Not just because I wanted to learn more—though I did—but also because…I liked being here. I liked being with John. He saw me in ways that very few people ever had. He taught me because he was kind. He didn’t ask for anything in return.

I glanced over at him. He was looking at the clouds as well. “Perhaps it will only sprinkle,” he said in a hopeful tone.

“Perhaps,” I agreed, but then several more drops hit my face and dress.