Page 47 of Waking Roslyn

Gretchen did her signature eye-rolling movement. “Watch,” she said, then raised her sword horizontally above her head. “Go ahead and strike, Rose.”

It took Rose a moment to follow Gretchen’s abrupt instructions, but then she did. She struck at Gretchen’s sword and did so with force and good form. How befuddling. Why hadn’t she been able to do that with me?

Gretchen turned to look at me. “You can’t expect her to swing at someone’s head and just trust that they’ll be able to defend themselves. You might know that you’ll get your sword up in time, but she doesn’t know that. She’s not like me,” she said with her snarky smile. “I wouldn’t mind knocking you in the head, but she obviously does.”

OH. She was…absolutely right. “Well”—I rubbed my fingers along my forehead as heat climbed my neck—“I really am an idiot, aren’t I?”

Gretchen said a resounding “Yes” at the same time as Rose said, “No.”

I would say this for little sisters—they keep you humble. Though in my defense, I really hadn’t been showing off. I’d just never taught anyone before, and I’d never even practiced with someone as averse to violence as Rose was. I’d been practicing and sparring with the others for so long that I could hardly even remember the way Falstone had taught me in the beginning.

There was a part of me, the part that hated it when Gretchen managed to actually humiliate me, that wanted to walk away and either try again tomorrow or tell Gretchen that she should take over. But I wasn’t a quitter, and getting my nose bent out of shape over my sister pointing out something that was true would make me a true halfwit. So I took a giant gulp and swallowed my pride, forcing myself to see the positive in the situation. “Gretchen, thank you for pointing that out. Maybe you can stick around for a bit and let me know if I’m making any other stupid mistakes.”

My response surprised my sister, and she winced. “I was too harsh, wasn’t I?”

I laughed because it was true. Gretchen told the truth and had no tendency to soften the blow of it. “Maybe a little. But you were right.”

She turned to Rose. “I do that sometimes. Mama says it’s not going to get me any friends.”

Rose smiled. “I don’t mind it.”

I cleared my throat, needing to move on from all the honesty. “You staying, Gretch?”

She agreed and soon enough, Rose was striking my own sword as I held it up. From there, it was easy to move on to having her be the one to block. She held her staff at the ready while I brought my sword down on it, allowing her to experience the impact and get used to the feeling.

By the time we headed back to Bridgefield, I felt like we were finally making progress.

11

My Roslyn,

It’s happened, my dear! The queen is with child. I must confess that I have known this for some time, but I have not wanted to give you false hope. If anything should have happened to the baby or the queen, I did not want you to suffer the heartache of having such hope taken from you. I had even considered not telling you until the child was born healthy, but I cannot keep it from you any longer. My dear, the queen is less than two months from her time of delivery. Only two months, Rosie!

I am almost afraid to hope, but this long-awaited child may actually allow you to return home. By all accounts, the queen is lovely and strong and has had no trouble with carrying it so far, but we can never be sure until the child is safely arrived.

We have so much reason to hope, but my heart still aches for what you’ve had to endure, for the separation we’ve all suffered. And though your father tells me that I am not responsible for this situation, it’s difficult to believe it. I am the cause, after all. I’m sorry you have to suffer the consequences of my station, no matter how unfair it may be. Let us hope this new babe allows you to come home, and that all those who wish you harm can forget about you entirely.

Love always,

Mother

I sat with the missive in my hand, frozen in place. It only had the name Rose and the direction on the outside. No family crest stamped into the wax, and I knew that my parents paid a trusted servant to send them.

I’d only been at Bridgefield for a month. This was the first letter I’d received from my parents since I came here, and the news was…astounding. I’d hoped for it for so long that I’d stopped actually expecting it to happen. It wasn’t until the page started to tremble in my hand that I dropped it to my lap and forced myself to take a deep breath. The queen was going to have a child—soon. And that child, if hale and hardy, would in all likelihood quench the worry that I might someday assume the throne. And if those who hated me had no reason to fear my succession, they would no longer see me as a threat. And if they no longer saw me as a threat, they would not have reason to harm me.

Right?

I’d lived with the knowledge that people wished me dead for so many years that it was difficult to comprehend that it could actually come to an end. And the idea of actually returning to Saldine was…terrifying.

And suddenly, learning to defend myself became even more important. In a matter of months, I might be able to rejoin Saldian society. And when that time came, I could not assume that all threats would cease. By all logical standards, the likelihood of them wanting to hurt me should decrease dramatically, or even disappear entirely. But who was to say those who threatened the life of a young girl were logical? I couldn’t possibly trust that their ill will would be entirely gone. And if some fool decided to run at me with a knife, I wanted to know what to do.

I didn’t want to be forced to disappear in my own home. I didn’t want to be so insignificant that I was forgotten. I didn’t want to be disposable.

I wanted to be a person who mattered.

John

Rose bent over, resting the staff on her knees and breathing heavily. “Why can’t I get this right?” she almost shouted.