Page 106 of Waking Roslyn

“You’ll be no good to her if you don’t sleep,” the duke cajoled.

I let out a bone-weary sigh. He was right. I looked over at Roslyn one more time, willing her fingers to move or her head to shift, but nothing changed. So I stepped away from the window and left her in the care of her father.

I stopped in the kitchens long enough to grab several biscuits and some dried meat, which I ate as I continued on to the barracks. My mind wanted to worry and fret about everything, but the longer it took me to fall asleep, the longer it would be before I could return to her, refreshed and ready to defend against whoever wished her dead. So I forced my breathing to slow and imagined the rushing sound of a swift river until my exhaustion took over and pulled me into sleep.

The beating of my heart was frantic when I woke, and I sat up, my eyes darting around. My eyes fell to another guard and he gave me a commiserating look. “No change,” he said.

My heart dropped and then buoyed up. Though she was not awake, she was not worse off either. “Thank you,” I muttered.

I readied myself and pulled on my boots, then strapped on my sword belt. The position of the sun suggested it was close to noon. I’d slept for nearly six hours.

I pushed through the kitchen doors since they were closest and hurried through the bustle of meal preparation, then continued down the corridor and up the stairs to her chamber. I nodded to the guard who stood just outside her door and entered.

The only sound in the room was the crackling of the fire, the duke’s footsteps as he paced, and the duchess’s occasional sniffs. Her Grace sat beside Roslyn’s bed, her upper body draped over the edge of the mattress, her head buried in the crook of one arm as the other reached out so she could rest her hand atop Roslyn’s.

The duke was in the corner, pacing in a tight circle. Captain Sterling stood when I entered and gestured for me to follow him out of the room. I did so reluctantly.

He went just far enough down the hall that we could speak without our voices floating into Roslyn’s room. “I just thought you should be informed, as I inform all my men.”

I nodded, humbled by the respect he was showing me.

“Lord Ravenna and his son, Lord Neil Ravenna, arrived nearly two hours ago.”

Rage rose up and I opened my mouth, but he put up a staying hand.

“They were not granted access. They were not even let in the house. I and two of my men escorted their coach away from the castle and past the gates. I’ve now set up a watch at the gate so that no other uninvited guests are allowed past. I will not trifle with Lady Roslyn’s life, no matter whom I insult.”

I gave a firm and grateful nod. “Very good. Thank you for letting me know, Captain.”

“You’re doing good work here, John.”

“Am I?” I suddenly felt my youth, and not in a good way.

“You don’t think so?” he asked.

“I seem to have turned into a spectacular failure,” I said to him, needing to say it out loud to someone.

He tilted his head. “In what way?”

“I am Lady Roslyn’s personal protector. I came here believing that I could protect her from the threat at hand. And yet I was the one standing in the room, completely oblivious when she was poisoned.”

“Hold on,” he said, raising a staying hand. “Firstly, if you failed, that means we all failed. Secondly, she’s alive, so even though it was a close thing, we didn’t fail.”

That wasn’t what it felt like.

He must have seen my doubt because he kept going. “You were looking out for her, trying to protect her with very little information and even less experience than all the people here. But I?” His face pinched. “John, I’ve trained for this. I know these people, I know their ways. I was suspicious on purpose. I thought I was being vigilant enough. It was my duty. And I didn’t see it.”

He…had a point. And while I would forever feel guilty that I had not prevented Roslyn’s terrifying ordeal, perhaps I did not carry all of the blame. Still… “I will never forgive myself if she dies,” I said, knowing it was true.

He didn’t argue with me or try to make me feel better. “None of us will. So we do the work.” He clapped me on the back and departed.

I returned to my place watching over Roslyn. It still baffled me that I’d been accepted among these soldiers and treated as though I were fully capable. I would never be able to thank Falstone enough.

As my mind churned over the fact that one of the earls had shown up here, I took the chair and settled in for another agonizing day. It was much the same as the day before, but there was now an added sense of urgency. Lunch trays were brought up for her parents and for those of us who kept watch. The doctor checked in regularly. More broth was dribbled into Roslyn’s mouth. The duchess rarely let go of Roslyn’s hand.

Unlike his wife, who hardly left this room, the duke was constantly moving in and out, trying to gather more information, come up with other solutions, shore up security. He tried to murmur words of reassurance to his wife once in a while, but I could tell his hope was waning.

It was late afternoon on day two. Nearly half our time was up, and despair was starting to edge its way into the room.