Page 53 of The Starling and the Hatter

I laughed. “He didn’t have to convince me. I’m happy to go.”

“Oh good. Come along, I’ve chosen the perfect dresses for both of us.”

True to her word, when we got up into the loft, Kat had already laid out a dress for each of us. Mine was blue and hers was purple. She loved for us to dress in unique but complementary outfits. I happily changed into mine, grateful that I didn’t need to make that decision.

We ate quickly, and then the three of us headed toward the village square. The festival was still going, despite the fact that half the vendors and half the customers would be gone.

When we arrived, the dance was already under way—the small band of men were stomping and playing their instruments. Before I could object, Hatcher pulled me into the swarm of dancers, one of his hands on my waist and the other holding my own hand. We took two steps forward, two steps back, then turn, turn, circling with all the other dancers.

We’d danced together for years, so it was easy and familiar dancing with Hatcher, but at the same time…not. Yes, my body knew how to move with him. I knew that if he pressed a certain spot on my back, I needed to move to the right, but if he pushed with his palm in another spot, I moved left. But being so close to him made all my uncertainty about Robert twist and writhe inside of me. And when the first song ended and the next song was slower and more intimate—a song meant for lovers—he didn’t lead me to the edge of the crowd. He kept me there on the dance floor, urging me to move closer.

I looked away, refusing to believe that his gaze was any different than it had been before. But as we swayed, his thumb drew lazy circles on my back, and Kat’s words about how I didn’t want him kept rat-a-tatting in my mind.

When his hand on my back pulled me closer still, I went all too willingly. I closed my eyes and let my chin rest on his shoulder. What would it be like to want Hatcher? What would it be like for him to want me back? My stomach dipped and swooped at the thought, helped along by the way his hand tightened around my own and the way his head rested against mine.

Curse Kat and her suggestions. Somehow, her words and Hatcher’s recent actions had combined into a giant ball of confusion. Hatcher’s nearness was pulling up all my old feelings, making me think that perhaps my infatuation with him three years ago hadn’t been so outlandish after all. Maybe he saw me as something more than just another member of the family. Maybe.

No. I forcefully banned all such nonsense from my head. Hatcher was my best friend, and I wouldn’t disrespect that by buying into some silly notion of a love match between us. I wasn’t a frightened fourteen-year-old girl anymore.

Robert was real, and he knew me from years ago. He cared about me. He wanted an adventure with me. He’d even hinted at building a life together. If I allowed old and unrealistic daydreams to get in the way of something real, I would regret it.

I lifted my head and brought my eyes back to Hatcher’s, telling myself that the softness in his gaze and the smile that tugged at his mouth were those of a friend. That’s how it had always been, and that’s how it would remain. If Kat believed I was getting in the way of Hatcher finding future happiness, then there was only one thing I could do.

I would get out of the way.

Maddox

After that night when I’d bungled an attempt to kiss Elise, I’d expected things to be more strained between us. So having her here with me, swaying to the music just like we always did, brought a sense of relief. Could she sense my desperation to hold her? Did she have any idea how much I longed to be closer, and then closer still? As we stepped and spun, I felt her go soft in my arms, and for just a few moments I thought I could be brave enough to ask her for more, maybe even kiss her.

But then she stiffened again and drew back. Not enough to be insulting, but enough that I felt the withdrawal.

We danced the rest of the evening, sometimes together, other times apart, but through it all she remained a little distant.

As we walked home, Elise continued to be withdrawn. She seemed pensive, and not just for the evening, but for three days afterward. Her interactions with me were polite and she tried to be friendly, but she was constantly distracted.

Then on Thursday evening, she and I were sitting at dinner with my family when she said, “I have some exciting news.”

Exciting. By the way she’d acted, I would have expected her to say dismal news, or worrying news. Plus, as I looked at her…she didn’t look excited. I set down my fork and gave her my full attention.

“I’ve decided it’s time for me to go on a little adventure.” She said it with a smile on her lips, but nerves were scattered all over her face, and her grip on her fork was making her knuckles white.

“Can I come?” Twyla asked immediately.

Elise smiled down at her. “No, Twy. I’m afraid not. I have to go adventuring on my own. It will be like a quest,” she said, trying to make it sound exciting for my sisters.

Dorothy spoke the question on my mind. “What are you talking about, Elise?”

She slowly looked up at Dorothy and took a deep breath. “I am going to travel to Stormbrook,” she said with a confidence that I knew was feigned.

Silence fell over the table, interrupted only by the continued clatter of spoons from Mouse and Billy.

She was going…to Stormbrook? Was this because of me? Because I couldn’t just keep my feelings to myself? Because I’d tried to kiss her? Because I still wanted to kiss her? Every day, every hour. Had she realized how I watched her and admired her? Was she running from me?

I thought about all those questions for several long moments as we all sat in stunned silence, and the only answer I could come up with was—probably. This was probably my fault.

“Why?” I finally said. It came out harsh, but really, how could it not? I knew what was in Stormbrook. White was in Stormbrook, and I wasn’t.

“Well, Kat and I were talking the other night, and she reminded me how important it is to be brave and go after the things we want.”