Page 41 of The Starling and the Hatter

She flinched. “I’m taking longer than I’d hoped. I told him I would be ready when he got here.”

Did she really think that White would just leave without telling her? What kind of an inconsiderate dodo was he? “I’m certain he’ll wait for you.”

“Yes, but I don’t want to make him late. I think this competition is his favorite, and he won’t want to miss any of it.”

I scowled at that. Elise had worked a full day. Usually she preferred to sit around the fire, take time to make and eat dinner and just talk in the evenings. Rushing off to see one of the competitions…well, it wasn’t her idea.

Elise reached the end of her braid and secured it with a leather cord. Then she threaded the ribbon between her hair and her neck before tying it at the top of her head. “How do I look?”

“Just as beautiful as always.”

“Good,” she said with a pleased smile, then kissed me on the cheek and ran off with White.

I stood there, swallowing and trying to keep all my envy firmly tucked away.

And failing spectacularly.

Elise

The sword competition had been well fought, and I loved cheering alongside Robert. When it was over, he deliberately took my hand, looking down at me as he threaded his fingers through mine. I bit my lip as we started to amble slowly away from the thinning crowd.

“Can I ask you something?” he inquired after a moment.

“Of course.”

“Why are you so content to spend time with me?”

I looked up at him, surprised that he would ask such a thing. “Should I not be?”

“I’m grateful you are, but I just wonder what I am to you. Am I just the next adventure? Am I an old friend that you’re obligated to be nice to?”

I was shocked at the uncertainty that wove its way through his words. Since we’d reunited, Robert had seemed the epitome of confidence. I’d assumed I was the only one who felt unsteady in our friendship, but seeing his vulnerability did something to my heart. Something good.

I shook my head. “It’s not obligation,” I assured him.

“Then what is it?”

“You mean, aside from the fact that I’ve always liked you as a person?”

He grinned. “Yes, besides that.”

How could I explain it? I took a breath and did my best to find the words. “I don’t owe you anything.”

His brow scrunched, not understanding.

I kept talking, finding my way through the words. “I adore the Hatchers. They are my family now—they are. But…in reality, I am just a stranger they took in, and there’s always this thought in the back of my head that they’ll wake up one of these days”—I took a stuttering breath— “and realize how much they’ve given me, and how little I’ve been able to give in return.” I swallowed hard. It was the first time I’d voiced those fears out loud. In fact, it was the first time that I’d truly been able to put words and sentences to that niggling fear that I’d buried deep.

“Surely they don’t see you that way,” he said. “As you’ve told me before, you take care of yourself.”

“I do,” I assured him. “Because I’m afraid of what I’ll lose if I were to truly become a burden.”

A bit of anger crossed his face, almost like he was indignant on my behalf. “You don’t need them. You’ve proven you can take care of yourself.”

“In a way, yes. I can take care of my basic needs. I can survive…but being with them fills something.” I looked at him, hoping to make him understand. “Don’t you miss your family?”

“Yes, but…I don’t mind being on my own.”

“What if you dreaded going back to your family? What if they weren’t a safe place to go back to?”