Page 11 of The Starling and the Hatter

I hated night time. The quiet night used to be a favorite of mine. It was the time when my brothers left me alone and no one demanded anything of me.

But now…I was so very alone. So the relief I’d felt when lying in the quiet of our peddler wagon was now replaced by fear and uncertainty. I didn’t know where I’d live come winter. I didn’t know if my singing act would remain interesting or if people would tire of it. I didn’t know if I could protect myself.

Peddlers would continue to travel and peddle their wares just as I had with my brothers. Those who wished to camp would travel down out of the mountains and settle near the shore. I would either need to find someone I could travel with, or I would need to procure at least a cart and pony. But did I really have any hope of making that much money in the next month? I doubted it. But perhaps if the Starfire troupe really did want to work with me…could I trust them enough to travel with them? So much uncertainty and fear made my head spin and my stomach clench.

I tried comforting myself with the story of the mother wolf. I imagined her finding me, gathering all the pieces of myself that had been torn from me. I imagined her singing me soothing songs as she healed my wounds.

But then the image of the wolf mother morphed into that of my own mother, and the pain of missing her seeped in, coating me in melancholy and leaving me aching for love. So I hummed the tune of a lullaby she used to sing, trying to soothe myself to sleep. I thought about the Hatcher sisters’ idea that I live with them, letting my mind conjure images of sleeping in a warm house surrounded by warm people, and only then was I able to fall asleep.

I woke as soon as the rising sunlight hit my face. I sat up and my stomach grumbled. Looking through my bag, I found that all I had left of the food I’d stolen from the wolf wagon was one strip of dried meat and a few handfuls of nuts. As much as I wanted to save all my resources, I knew that standing and singing for a good portion of the day would take too much energy to do on a stomach that hadn’t been properly filled in ten days. So I ate the last strip of dried meat and a handful of nuts, relishing each bite and feeling the strength return as I sipped on my water afterwards. Maddox had given me nine bits last night, nearly the worth of a whole copper. I would use some of that to stock up on food and maybe even buy a noonday meal so long as I was able to collect at least a few coins this morning.

I put everything into my pack except for my Starling cape, which I draped over one arm, then I made my way through the woods, keeping an eye out for anyone else, and made it to the festival grounds without difficulty.

I was tempted to take up the same spot as I’d occupied yesterday so that I could remain close to the one person who had befriended me. But I knew that variety was key, so I found a spot between the archery course and the mead sellers instead, hoping that the drink would loosen some purse strings. There I set out the little money pouch that I’d fashioned to look like a nest for people to drop their coins in.

It was near noon when I recognized Dorothy in the crowd with her three young children. She smiled when she caught my eye, and they all sat down on the ground to listen to me for several songs. Didi sat cross-legged with her chin in her hands and a smile on her face while Twyla twirled and danced nearby. But once Mouse started loudly screeching and constantly trying to flee his mother’s lap, Dorothy gathered the girls and led them away. Didi stumbled along, holding on to her mother’s hand but keeping her head turned over her shoulder so that she could continue watching me.

I waved and winked.

When the lunch hour arrived, I looked in my little coin nest and decided that I could wait until this evening to eat. When I’d left my brothers, I hadn’t anticipated just how much worry and uncertainty would accompany me. Even though I knew I had coins to spare, I also knew that while I could spare them now, I didn’t know if I could spare them later. When winter set in and the festivals stopped and there was no one around to hear my singing and throw me their coins, I would miss any money that I squandered during these temperate days. Even if I ended up camping near the shore with some of the others, I had no idea how many people would care to hear a young girl singing.

On Friday, I noticed Maddox in the small crowd that had gathered to hear me sing. He seemed to be waiting for me, so when I’d finished, I beckoned him over, anxious for a friendly person to talk to.

He gave me an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be a nuisance. But my father is working with me today, and he’s heard so much chatter about you from my sisters that he’d like to meet you.”

His words took a moment to make sense in my mind. I shook my head with a smile. “I’m not certain what I did to earn your sisters’ admiration, but I know I don’t deserve it.” I looked around, realizing I’d lost nearly all of my audience during the last song. “I need to find a different spot, so I could come now if you really think he wants to meet me.”

Maddox just smiled and nodded in the direction of their tent.

As we walked, I replaced my feathered cape with my cloak. It was just cool enough today to need it, and I worried that the fall weather was going to come on before I was ready.

“Have you come this far north before?” he asked as we walked.

“No. My family always traveled the southern route so that we wouldn’t have to worry about the weather. Tethurn, Caldo, Norsing.” Those villages all resided south of the mountain range that ran through the northern half of Winberg and were much warmer. Coming north was necessary to avoid my brothers, but as fall deepened, I had to wonder if I had any chance of being safe without more bedding, a tent… I swallowed the panic that started to brew in my stomach at that thought. I fully intended to travel with the others at the end of the week as they continued on to the next festival in Stormbrook, and if I made good money there, I might be able to purchase enough gear, but would I be able to carry it all on my back as I walked to my next destination?

Maddox

It was interesting watching her transform from the Starling back to just Elise. She wore confidence when performing just as easily as she wore her costume. But the nearer we came to our tent, the less sure she looked, and I wondered if it was the talk of approaching winter that made her nervous.

It should.

“I know it’s a trade-off.” I tried to say it conversationally, like it wasn’t a warning. “There are more festivals up north, and the villages aren’t as spread out as they are once you get south of Murrwood, but the mountains make the travel harder and the winter longer.”

She nodded, looking too stoic for my comfort. “I’m starting to understand that, I think.”

What I wanted to say was, “Do you really?” Instead, I just walked into our tent. “Dad?” I called as we pushed our way past costume displays and into his work area, where he sat with spectacles perched on his nose and a pot of tea at his elbow.

“Ah,” he said, climbing to his feet. “The famous songbird.” His barrel-chested voice filled the space with its deep tones. He reached out a hand, swallowing her small one with his. “A pleasure, my dear. I’m Marshall Hatcher.”

“Elise,” she responded.

My brow jumped up, curious why she would omit a last name when my father had given his. And—I realized in that moment—she hadn’t given me her last name either. Was Elise keeping secrets?

“It’s a pleasure to meet the Starling at last,” he said with a smile. “It’s a lovely stage name. How did you come up with it?”

Elise’s eyes cut over to me and I looked away, embarrassed that she might think my father was trying to get her to give me credit or brag about me. But I simply hadn’t mentioned to my family that I had helped Elise with her songstress name.

“Actually, the Starling was Maddox’s idea,” she said easily.