Page 66 of Songs for Libby

CHAPTER TWENTY

He showed up again the very next day. I looked through my peephole and saw him there, waiting to see if I would answer his knock.

I did. I opened the door and he offered me a smoothie and a smile.

That smile. He hadn’t smiled like that for months before I had left him. But somehow, five years later, the smile I loved, the one that made his eyes shine and his nose crinkle, was back. Just like the healthy glow of his skin and the fitness of his body. It all spoke of changed habits and positive results. I wanted to trust the evidence in front of me that begged me to believe in him, but bad habits were hard to break. Grudges were hard to let go of, and the pain of unhealed hurts couldn’t be ignored indefinitely.

He held the smoothie up a little higher, reminding me that I hadn’t taken it from him.

“Thanks.” I took the offered drink and stepped aside so he could enter.

“You let me come in again.” He wasn’t gloating, just…stating the obvious? Acknowledging that this was significant?

I didn’t know, so I decided to make light of it. “Well, I couldn’t have you standing out there, drawing a hoard of raving fans to my door.”

He gave an easy smile when I looked at him for a reaction.

“Really, though,” I continued. “If you’re serious about living here for any amount of time, how are you going to function without paparazzi camping out on your lawn?”

“Don’t worry.” He smiled his photo smile and slipped his sunglasses over his eyes even though we were inside. “I have a plan.”

My reaction was instinctive and visceral. I reached up and yanked the glasses off his face as my chest and my eyes burned with anger.

“Libby! What the—”

“No.” I pointed a finger at him. “You are not allowed to do that with me. If you don’t want to answer the question truthfully, that’s fine, but you will not give me some smarmy look and hide behind your shades. That’s not how we work. Even back when I was kicking your butt out of bars, that’s not how we worked.”

He blinked in shock for two heavy beats, then let out a puff of air. “You’re right. I’m sorry. Force of habit.”

“You don’t have to tell me how you plan to deal with the press, but don’t treat me like some reporter you can brush off.” I threw the sunglasses at his chest and he managed to catch them.

“Okay. I won’t. I’m sorry.”

I couldn’t get used to his apologies. They sounded so…genuine. I studied his face, looking for further clues to his thoughts, something to make the puzzle pieces fit together, even just a little. “And what’s with the scruff?” Yes, brilliant detail to latch on to. “You’ve always been freakish about keeping yourself clean shaven.”

He held out his arms, presenting himself with a little grin. “That’s part of my plan.”

I stared harder, trying to imagine him with a beard.

“I always shave because if I let it go at all, it gets out of control fast. So I figured, why not use that to my advantage? I’m also going to start putting my hair into a man bun as soon as it’s long enough.” He pumped his eyebrows at me, his eyes excited.

My staring continued and I narrowed my eyes, examining his thick, wavy hair, trying to imagine it all. Then I snorted.

“Aw, come on,” he whined in protest. “It might look good!”

I just shook my head and chuckled, then turned toward the couch. “It will be an interesting experiment, that’s for sure.” I sat down and sipped on the smoothie, appreciating the sweet flavors of peach and kiwi—my favorite. I was glad my tastebuds hadn’t decided to rebel against these particular flavors. I couldn’t stand potato chips anymore, even though I used to love them in all their varieties.

He sank down into the chair across from me, looking tentative. A heavy awkwardness settled between us. I didn’t really know what to do at this point. I had let him come in. I’d accepted the smoothie. But now what? Now that he was in my house, did I want him here?

I didn’t know, and because I didn’t know, I decided to put it back on him. “Was there a reason for your visit, Sean?”

He pointed his chin at the cup in my hand. “I brought you a smoothie.”

“That didn’t require you to come in.”

“You invited me in.”

“And now we have nothing to say.”