Page 123 of Songs for Libby

“Maybe he’s just here to pick up something he forgot.” There was the bitterness. Right there, ready to comfort and protect me.

“I don’t think so,” she responded in all seriousness. “Do you want me to ask him to go?”

“No,” I breathed out, still locked in place, staring at the window.

“Okay,” she said, and quietly let herself out of the room.

She was leaving it up to me, not prompting me one way or the other. I wanted to stay right here, by this window. There was pain here where I stood, but it was a pain I had come to know over the past two days. The prospect of additional pain was difficult to contemplate, and there was a good chance that was exactly what Sean was bringing to me right now.

Standing here indefinitely wasn’t an option though. I had to face him, talk to him, let him speak his piece. Speak my own piece.

So I sucked in a breath. It was shallow, but it was the best I could do to fortify my nerves before turning and walking out into the hallway, closing the door firmly behind me. My footsteps were short and stiff. My arms crossed tightly across my chest in an attempt to hold myself together.

As I neared the banister of the landing overlooking the great room, Sean’s head came into view. Light, wavy hair. He was standing in the middle of the room, right in front of the couch, like he’d made an attempt to sit but decided against it.

My approach must have made a noise, because he looked up at me, his eyes filled with remorse as he took me in head to toe. His mouth pulled down in a pained frown as he studied my face. “I’m so sorry,” he said in earnest.

“You left me.” My voice was quiet, but it floated down into the spacious great room with ease.

“I know. But I’m back.”

“But you left me!” The accusation echoed.

“Yes.”

I pursed my lips, breathing hard through my nose. “What do you expect me to say to that? That it’s okay? It’s not. That I forgive you? I don’t!”

His face was slack as he stared up from below.

My voice was loud in this big, empty house. “It’s one thing for you to get away, or to take some time or whatever, but to cut me off completely?”

“I’m sorry.”

I barely heard his whispered apology. “I didn’t even know if you were okay. I woke up to paramedics and pain and you were nowhere! I didn’t even know if Joanie was okay, and you were NOWHERE!”

“I made sure she was okay. I left her with Nick—”

“THAT’S NOT THE SAME AND YOU KNOW IT, SEAN!”

“I know, and—”

“Why?” I demanded. “Why did you do it?”

His eyes filled with pain. “You were hurt, Libby.”

“So you thought you’d add insult to injury by leaving me by myself at the hospital?!”

“I was wrong. I know I was wrong.”

“You didn’t answer my phone calls. You ignored my texts. You forbade everyone from even telling me where you were. What is that, Sean? Who does that?!”

“I didn’t know what to do.” His eyes begged for understanding as he approached the foot of the stairs, making his way closer to me. “Those photographers?” He pointed somewhere off into the distance. “They would never have acted that way if I wasn’t with you.”

“So you decided to call it quits and leave me to clean up the mess?” Guilt I could understand, but abandoning me?

“You were hurt because of me.” He jabbed a finger into his own chest. “Joanie was in a car accident because of me, because of my career.”

“No.” I crossed to the top of the stairs, unable to stand still any longer. “You don’t get to claim responsibility for their actions. I was hurt because the paparazzi are soul-sucking vampires who see nothing but dollar signs when they look at you or anyone else.” My anger at what those people had done to us compounded the fire inside me, making my voice tremble.