Page 113 of Songs for Libby

A great wave of relief rose up, along with a flurry of other emotions that I didn’t bother identifying. “Put it on speaker,” I said, not trusting myself to hold a phone.

She did as I asked.

“Sean?” I nearly cried.

“What’s wrong, Libs? Nick left me a message to call you as soon as I got offstage.” He sounded appropriately panicked.

“I’m gonna have a baby.”

There were three seconds of silence and then, “Now? You’re in labor now?”

“Yes. I’m at the hospital and—” I stopped talking so I could breathe through my contraction.

“She’s doing great, Sean,” Louisa jumped in. “We’re all settled here at the hospital. The nurses say everything is fine.”

Sean was suddenly yelling out instructions to the people around him, rearranging so that he could get out of there as soon as possible, then he was back to talking to me. “Are you okay, Libby? Are you sure? Has the doctor seen you? Do you have everything you need?” He shot the questions at me one after the other.

“Sean, please don’t freak me out more than I am!” I yelled, overwhelmed by all his questions and the panic in his voice. It was not comforting.

He swore. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

“Hey, Sean,” Louisa interrupted. “Why don’t you hang up and call us back when you’re on your way and don’t have so many people around?”

“Yeah. Yeah. Good idea. I’m so sorry I’m not there, Libs. I never should have come.”

“It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s not your fault. I’m just glad you’re coming. You are coming, right?” I demanded.

“Right now. I’m leaving right now.”

“Good,” was all I had the energy to say.

“All right,” Louisa jumped in again. “Call us back when you’re a little calmer. Okay, Sean?”

“Of course. I love you, Libby. You’re amazing.”

“We’ll talk later, Sean. Buh-bye,” Louisa said and then hung up. “Phew. That boy is a mess for you.”

I let out the barest chuckle and did my best to breathe deep and go back to my zen place. They had offered me an epidural, but being the wife of an acupuncturist, I tended to lean toward the natural route, so I had settled in for the long haul.

Sean called back an hour later, much calmer than he’d been before. He had chartered a private jet for the first time in his career. I was glad we could speak freely without strangers overhearing him. I was happy to have him on the phone, but my labor had progressed to the point where I didn’t want to talk, even between contractions, so I asked him to play for me. He picked songs and melodies that were calm and slow and sweet. But only half an hour into the flight, I went into transition and the music no longer helped.

I screamed as another contraction roared to life, this one stronger than any of the rest.

“What’s happening? What’s happening?” Sean’s panicked voice asked.

“I’m having a baby, Sean!” I yelled once the worst of it had eased up. “If you can’t handle it, then hang up!”

“Don’t worry, Sean,” Louisa called out, taking pity on him. “If something bad is happening, you’ll hear me panicking. Any screaming or yelling from Libby is normal. It just means she’s getting close.”

He swore again. He’d been doing that a lot tonight. It was strangely comforting, hearing him say all the things I was thinking. “I’m not going to make it. It’s still at least an hour and a half before I can get there.”

“Yes you are! You have to!” I called out as another contraction came right on the heels of the one before.

“You’re amazing, Libby.” The emotional strain in his voice almost distracted me from the pain for a moment. Almost.

Sean was right. He didn’t make it. But he was there on the phone with me the whole time. As I gasped for breath. As I listened to my own screaming, pushed through the ring of fire, and reached halfway to heaven to get my baby into this world.

“Oh,” I whimpered as they placed my squirming little girl on my chest. “Oh, baby girl,” I wept in joy, wrapping one hand over her back and using the other to cradle her tiny naked bum. “Hi, love. I got you,” I said as she let out a squawk of protest. “I got you. Sean?” I called out, realizing I hadn’t heard him in a while.