Page 88 of Just for Tonight

“Sounds like I shook you up,” Mackenzie says finally, her tone playful.

It is her gift, but I won’t tell her that.

“You made me think, that’s for sure. Thank you.” I make a joke because this is getting too serious. “If you’d said it in French, Isobelle, I would have forgotten the friends bit.”

“Probably safer for both of us that I didn’t then,” she says lightly. “Bon soir, Jake. Et merci.”

I pretend to swoon and she laughs. After we end the call, I know I won’t sleep anytime soon. I don’t have time for that, but I’m also wound up, thanks to her questions.

Do I have to wait until I can fully commit to a life of leisure, or could I possibly have a bit of my fantasy life now? I am thirty-seven, speaking of biological clocks. Tick tock. Maybe it’s time.

Maybe I can’t afford it just yet.

Maybe that sounds like something my father would say. Always saving for a rainy day – at least until he found Monsoon Candace.

Maybe I can’t afford to let it wait any longer.

24

Mackenzie

Jake Cavendish is a romantic.

It’s incredible, and yet, I don’t doubt his sincerity. He was fierce.

If I had loved her, I would have done anything for her.

I can still hear his voice and my knees quiver every time I remember it.

I would have moved mountains.

Imagine having Jake Cavendish move mountains for you. I barely can. I replay our conversation in my thoughts over and over again, reliving the thrill of his declaration.

It makes me realize exactly what I want. I want that. I want a man who loves me so completely that he’d do anything for me. I want a partnership that is a total commitment from both parties, the bedrock and foundation of a future. I don’t want to compromise. I don’t want a match that looks good on paper. I want a man who makes my knees go weak, who kisses me like he’ll never get enough, whose eyes light when he sees me. I want a man who will do anything for me – because when I love a man, I’ll do anything for him.

I want a relationship that is highly improbable, and I don’t want to settle for anything less.

If I loved Darcy – or thought there was any chance of my loving him in future – it would be much easier to do what he wants. I could give up Rhodes Vineyards for love. But I won’t give it up for complacency or comfort or someone else’s future plans.

My instincts are shouting loud and clear: the man I want is Jake Cavendish. I want him to fall in love with me because I’m pretty sure that I’m falling hard for him. It would be awesome and demanding and fulfill every one of my romantic dreams – if I could convince Jake to take a chance on me.

The bottom line is that I want the impossible.

I’ve politely declined Darcy’s invitations and offers, but now I get more firm. I say no to all of it. I’m emphatic but polite.

He doesn’t listen. In fact, he might find it encouraging. He just gives me a couple of hours, then calls again.

Every time.

It is a relentless and infuriating campaign, one that is made worse by comparison. If I said no to Jake, he’d vanish from the face of my earth.

That leads me to daydreaming about Jake, and that means I’m sufficiently distracted to make a mistake on Friday afternoon.

I agree to have dinner with a potential buyer.

That’s not the mistake.

The mistake is that I agree to let him drive to Havelock for dinner.