Page 42 of Just for Tonight

“At a larger outfit, you’d either be in the office all day, every day, or in the fields all the time,” he guesses and I nod.

“But because I do the tastings, particularly those at outside locations, like The Carpe Diem Café, I notice trends as they’re starting. I have to verify them, of course, and look for more data points, but that means I have specific questions for the sales and marketing team. Once we gather all of that information, we can make better choices, and that influences our direction in oenology.”

“Oenology?” he says the word with care.

“Winemaking. We can blend sweeter or less sweet. We can aim for reds that are bigger or have more tannin or choose to oak wines to add to their dimensionality. Tastes change all the time, so I love talking to customers and listening to their reactions.”

“But you wouldn’t have even known to ask those questions without the broader range of your responsibilities.” Jake nods. “That makes sense. Are there tangible results?”

“Yes! I noticed that people were skewing to sweeter wines again this year, which was doubly confirmed at The Carpe Diem Café. Merrie’s place is a great resource for me, as foodies come from a long distance to eat there. It’s tremendous to have a group of tastemakers and influencers so close at hand, plus it’s a totally different crowd than those who come to the vineyard for tastings.”

I like that Jake doesn’t interrupt me. He’s listening intently and just giving me space. No mansplaining here, no crap about him knowing my job better than I do. In fact, he looks fascinated.

I lower my voice because I’m pretty excited about what I’m going to share and I don’t want the world to know yet. “Our winemaker was blending some rosés from last year’s harvest and he came up with a sweeter variant, a much sweeter wine than we usually market. The balance of grapes meant it had to be slightly more expensive, too, but it is lovely. Uncle Franz was hesitant, but because I’ve done those tastings, I’m confident it will find a following. We’re launching it next week with a little fanfare of publicity and Merrie is going to host a party for us, too, with food to match with it.” I take a breath. “She’s agreed to include it at her first chef’s table event. I’m hoping some of her foodie fans will come for that and help to spread the word.”

“And that they’ll love it.”

“Oh, I think they will. It’s a really great summer wine.”

“So, the advantage of working at a smaller firm and having more flexibility will yield financial benefits for the firm,” Jake concludes. “And your wider ranging responsibilities mean you have more of a bird’s eye view over the whole business, which means you can make better decisions.” I nod and he lifts his glass. “That’s brilliant, Mackenzie. Kudos to you.”

I’m flushed and pleased by his reaction. It makes me realize how few people there are in my life who would understand why I love what I do.

“But you would rather play on a big field,” I say.

“There’s more opportunity for advancement, although I hear you about the benefits of a broader perspective. It’s true that you do end up in a niche in a larger firm, but fortunately, mine is in the area I like best.”

“Numbers?”

“Lining them up and making their totals get bigger. Highly satisfying.”

“You don’t miss the people?”

“I get lots of time with people. I have clients and coworkers.”

“But you’re not looking for a romantic relationship?” I shrug when he looks up. “Just an idle question, not an ambition. I have enough to do without training a life partner and putting up with his junk.”

“Exactly!” Jake says with a grin. Then he sobers. “Actually, it’s a simple problem. I like smart women. I like women with careers and objectives and big plans. I don’t want to talk about the weather.” He gestures. “I like conversations like this one.”

“Me, too.”

“But the problem is that if you build a permanent relationship on that ground, someone has to pay the price.”

“How so?” I think I know exactly what he means, but I might be making assumptions. It would be wild if we agreed about this.

“I work with a lot of brilliant people, male and female. And I can’t help but notice that, among those who have partners, the male usually is the winner. He gets to give his all at work and focus on his career.”

I nod, because this is exactly my concern. In a way, I’m impressed that Jake has even noticed. Most men don’t.

“For example, I work with a woman who is every bit as good at what she does as I am, but she’s married and has three kids.” Jake lifts a hand. “I have no idea how she juggles it all, but sometimes she’s out of the office because one of her kids is sick or has to leave early for one of their appointments. Her husband has a good job, too, but she has a great job – and the social expectation is that she has to be the one to make the sacrifices for being a parent. It’s not fair and I never want to be with anyone who has to compromise their own ambitions for the sake of mine.”

“Do you think society expects that or she does?”

“Both, probably.” He eyes me. “You would likely know better than me.”

“It’s both, I think, but maybe not in the way you mean. I think women are often trained to put themselves last, or to see to the welfare of others first, and we learn it so early that we don’t even think about it. So, it’s social expectations, but also the groundwork that we’ve been taught because of social expectations. We do it to ourselves, without questioning why.”

“That makes sense. And that does have tangible results.”