Page 60 of A Well-Trained Lady

“Last night. What did I do to upset you? You hardly spoke to me after our conversation.”

I pursed my lips, pretending ignorance. “I can’t think of anything.”

“Was it my comment about your affections being placed elsewhere?”

My heart skipped a beat, and I rebuked it for its nonsensical reaction. It did not matter that he acknowledged his comment had been about me, nor that he cared where I should place my affections, for it would not change my course. Augustus could not offer me what Lord Thorton could—not a title, nor great wealth, nor status. And even if I could convince myself that those things did not matter, they certainly mattered to my parents. Mother would not tolerate my passing on Lord Thorton for the son of an obscure gentleman, let alone when she discovered that gentleman was Augustus. A chill ran down my spine.

“I cannot think that was it, as I did not suspect you were speaking of me in particular.” I smiled through my lie, relieved to have arrived at my door. In haste, I grabbed the knob. “I thank you for your assistance and your haphazard apology. But as you can see, I am quite well and am capable of carrying on myself.”

I opened the door and stepped through, but Augustus did not leave. Instead he paused at the threshold and leaned against the frame.

“What are you doing?”

He only smiled. “You were truly unaware I spoke of you?”

I turned my back on him, thankful I had the excuse of retrieving my sewing basket. “Perhaps I questioned it for the briefest of moments.” I opened the top of the basket and rummaged through the contents for a spare piece of linen. There were too many ribbons and strings to sift through with one hand and, in my agitation, I overturned the contents onto the desk. “But then I also wondered if you spoke of Miss Whitmore, or perhaps another lady.”

“I spoke of you, Bella, and you alone.”

I froze, my mind completely going blank. The throbbing in my finger forced me to my senses, and I snatched up a partially completed sampler and awkwardly took my extra pair of shears to cut a strip off the end. Relinquishing the bloody handkerchief on top of the contents of my sewing box, I lifted the linen to begin wrapping.

“You must wash it first.” Augustus gestured toward the water basin placed on a small table near the door where he stood.

I drew in a steadying breath and moved toward him, dipping my hand in the clear water and scrubbing at the dried blood until the water was tinted pink. When I finally submerged the tip of my finger, I winced at the stinging sensation, and a pitiful whimper escaped.

Augustus took a small step toward me, a look of concern in his features. “May I assist you?”

I shook my head, well aware that his touch could be my undoing. I already felt weak. I had no intention of compromising my resolve further. After drying my hands, I wrapped the linen around my finger, pulling it taut with each rotation. I could feel Augustus watching me, and after a few failed attempts to secure the end with only one hand, I held out my finger to him in surrender. “Perhaps you could tie it off for me?”

With an all-too-amused expression, he took hold of my hand a second time.

I looked toward the window, refusing to take notice of anything besides the afternoon light filtering through the panes of glass.

“There you go.” His hands lingered on mine.

I swiftly lifted the bulky dressing to show off our success, hoping to keep the mood light. “Hardly noticeable, I think.”

He smiled but didn’t respond as he studied me.

“Well, shall we go down?” I asked a touch too cheerily, so that it sounded false even to my own ears. “I believe I left Ruth and Sarah in quite the state of distress. They shall be eager to know how I fared.”

Augustus crossed his arms and leaned against the doorframe again.

I gave another small huff and tilted my head to the side. “What is it now?”

“You seem eager to avoid my declaration.”

I gave a small shrug, as though my entire body was not trembling on the inside. “In all honesty, I am not avoiding it, I simply believed it to be hardly worth mentioning, considering we are friends, and friends should clearly be concerned with the other’s welfare.”

His gaze lowered momentarily before lifting again to mine. “As enjoyable as these games we play are, Bella, I am growing weary of concealing my true feelings.”

The familiar look in his eyes made my heart start into a frenzy. It was a look I knew well, and I could not bear to see Augustus hurt in the same way I had hurt so many gentlemen before him. Nor could I bear the risk of seeing that same look fade over time. It would be detrimental to us both for him to declare himself. “Really, Augustus, we should go back down.”

“Not until I tell you that—”

“Please stop.” My voice caught, and I released a shaky exhale. “You must not say it.”

He took a step closer, and the movement nearly toppled the poorly-constructed wall around my heart. “I cannot bear to know I did not take hold of the opportunity when it was given me—before it was too late.”