Page 103 of A Well-Trained Lady

Lady Beatrice and Miss Browning alighted from the carriage behind ours, but I did not even glance at them, hurrying up the exterior staircase and into the house.

“What is the matter, miss?” Leah asked after I shut the door of my room behind me.

My breaths were coming fast from the exertion of running up the stairs. “Have they gone?”

Her expression filled with understanding, and she dipped her chin. “Yes. A quarter hour ago. They seemed to be in a great hurry. I helped ready Ruth’s trunks myself.”

I rested my head against the door and closed my eyes. I had hoped in vain. All truly was lost.

“Come sit.” Leah came to my side. Taking hold of my arm, she led me to the chaise lounge. “I shall bring up some tea.”

I shut my eyes again and leaned into the angled back, unable to so much as utter my thanks.

After several minutes, a sharp knock echoed through the room. I did not move.

The door creaked open and shut again. “What in heaven’s name are you doing?” Mother’s voice infiltrated the silence.

I did not move. “Resting.”

“You know precisely what I mean. Do you know what Lady Thorton just asked me?” Mother’s voice was near.

“No.”

“She inquired if your melancholy has to do with the departure of a certain friend. And she did not mean Miss Seton.”

I heaved a sigh. “I am tired, Mother.”

“You are tired?” Her voice drew closer still. “Think of what I’m constantly made to endure because of your flippant behavior. You exhaust me, Arabella. But you will not disappoint me again.”

I finally opened my eyes, meeting her glare with a wearied expression. “No matter what I do, I will be a disappointment to you. I have sought for years to obtain your acceptance, yet nothing I do is ever enough. Even Lord Thorton will not be enough. I am through trying to please you. I am through trying to be loved and falling short.” I drew in a breath, drained of all care. “And I will not marry Lord Thorton.”

Mother took hold of my wrist and yanked me to my feet. “You will marry Lord Thorton.”

Tears blurred my vision. “Ruth’s reputation is already tainted, and neither she nor Augustus will likely ever see me again. What can you possibly hold over me now?”

“Besides your inheritance, your very position in our family?”

“You would disown me for going against your wishes?” I gave an unamused laugh. “Go ahead. I don’t want any of it.”

Mother’s lips parted. “You would give everything up now that you are so close? You shall be the wife of an earl, Arabella. Do you realize there will be few women with a higher status than you? You shall want for nothing.”

“I shall want for so much.”

Mother clenched her jaw, her eyes moving between mine. “You selfish girl. Thankfully, there is one bartering chip I still possess.”

“Then use it, for I no longer care.”

“If you insist.” Mother forcefully released my arm and took a step away from me. “I shall write to Ruth directly and inform her that it was her mother who killed her father before taking her own life.”

Her words knocked the breath from me.

Mother took in my rigid posture. “I will gladly inform her that it was you who encouraged me to share the life-altering news with her.”

“You lie.”

Mother’s hand reeled back so swiftly, I had no time to prepare for the impact. Her palm slapped my cheek. My ears rang with pain, and my skin stung, but I righted myself, lifting my chin defiantly. “Hit me all you like. I shall never believe such a thing. Ruth’s mother was kind, and she loved Ruth with all her heart.”

“Which is precisely why she did it.”