Page 77 of Cross Check

Grant is an attractive athlete who will meet a woman and start dating her. Talking to me as much as he does will cross another line, and our communication will taper off. Five years from now, he’ll be married with the family he wants, and I’ll be right here: aware I should’ve stopped things sooner, but I didn’t.

“This is when being a woman in sports is bullshit,” Sienna says. “If we worked in an office setting, friendships with your colleagues would be expected. Hell. People would label you as a bitch if you actively avoided talking to them. But on the court? On the field? On the ice? The second we laugh too loudly at a joke, we’re perceived as desperate or trying to get ahead. And if we look at a guy for a second too long, people assume we want to fuck them. It’s so obnoxious.”

“I agree. I want to burn the patriarchy down too, but I know I can never, ever cross the boundary I’ve established. That’s why I’ve made it so clear to him that this is platonic.” I shrug. “He’s been okay with it so far. No making passes, no flirting.”

“Is he a nice guy?” Lainey asks. “If you worked in finance and he was someone in, I don’t know, banking or some other boring-ass job, would he be someone you’d go for?”

“I’m not sure. He’s younger than me. There are eight years between us, and that’s a lifetime. And he’s so goddamn nice. Too nice, almost. I keep waiting for him to drop the act, but he doesn’t. It’s frustrating,” I say. “I’ve been around so many shitty guys that any man who says please and thank you on a regular basis seems overly absurd.”

“But he makes you smile. What’s that about?”

“He’s fun to talk to. Interesting, you know? It’s not the same generic conversations about jobs and families and where I see myself in ten years. It’s… easy,” I supply.

“You work too damn hard not to have any fun off the ice,” Lainey says. “If this guy is someone who can help you blow off some steam without it impacting your job, why not keep talking to him?”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence.” I grab the wine waiting for me and sip it slowly. “It’s something to consider.”

I’m able to restrain myself from checking my phone until I get back to my apartment. When I do, I’m not surprised to find three notifications from Grant.

GE

FYI, if I knew you when you were in college, I would have kicked your ex-boyfriend’s ass for shits and giggles.

I also would have given you another serving of jalapeños to put in his food.

What are friends for?

What are friends for, if not for making you smile even when they’re not around?

TWENTY-SIX

GRANT

JANUARY, FOUR SEASONS AGO

Me

Secret of the day?

AG

I sucked my thumb until the 4th grade.

Me

Wow.

AG

Too much information first thing in the morning?

Me

No way. Just trying to process how your teeth look so good despite gnawing on your appendages until you could practically drive.

AG

I hate that I laughed at that.