Page 115 of Cross Check

“I know. I just… I don’t like not being able to help people. Especially when it’s someone I love.”

Grant has the softest soul of anyone I’ve ever met, and I can’t imagine the cracks that must be on his heart after tonight.

“How are the rest of the guys doing?” I ask.

“Not great. I’m not sure how Ethan and Liam haven’t gotten us kicked out of the hospital. Coach tried to give me a pep talk, but it didn’t help. How can it? One minute, everything is fine. The next, nothing is the same.” He drops his head back. His throat bobs. “Thank you for listening. For… I don’t know. Just. Being you, I guess. Answering the phone.”

“We’re friends. I’m always here if you need something.” I pause. My chest hurts. I know I’m not doing enough, but I don’t know what else to do. “Are you staying at the hospital?”

“Yeah. We want to be here when Mitchy gets out of surgery, even if we can’t go in and see him. He’d do the same for us.”

“Of course he would.”

“I’ll let you go. I’m sorry for calling you in the middle of the night. I’m sorry for disturbing you.”

“Please don’t apologize, Grant. I’m here if you need me. If you want to talk more, I’ll listen. If you want to sit in silence, I can do that with you too.”

“I appreciate you, Lia. You’re my best friend. Even if we don’t talk as much as we used to, I’m so glad I have you in my life.”

My heart skips a beat. He’s my best friend too, and his pain is my pain.

How did I go so long without checking in on him?

“Will you text me later?” I ask. “When you get home? You don’t need to give me details or anything. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m so far from okay. I wish you were here. Things are always better when you’re around.” He gives me a weak smile. “But yeah. I’ll text you later.”

We say goodbye. I turn off my light, but it’s impossible to fall back asleep. All I can see when I close my eyes are Grant’s tears.

Before I have time to justify what I’m doing, I grab my phone. I search flights from Denver to DC, finding one that leaves in four hours.

If he wants me by his side, I’m going to be there for him. No second-guessing, no questions asked.

He shouldn’t have to carry the burden of this alone.

Not when I’m here, happy to share some of the load.

I plug in my credit card information, set an alarm, and drop my head against the pillow. Going months without seeing him has been the most miserable stretch of my life, but that changes tomorrow. I’ll be back by his side, my feelings be damned, and all will be right in the world.

THIRTY-SEVEN

GRANT

I don’t know what time it is.

I don’t know if it’s day or night.

I don’t know how long I’ve been in my room.

Hours?

Days?

Minutes?

I don’t want to check my phone. If I do, I’m afraid I’m going to see that someone else I love is hurt, and I can’t take more pain.

I roll onto my side and squeeze my eyes shut. I try to block out the memory of what happened, but life’s not fair. Everything starts to play like a horror film I can’t turn off. I have to relive each excruciating detail. One exhale, and I’m back in the middle of the club.