Page 6 of Beautiful When He Breaks

“I don’t know her name.”

The thought guts me.

I look down at the baby, at her tiny mouth and soft cheeks and the little crease between her brows. “She’s one month old, and I don’t know her name.”

Ryan’s voice comes from the floor, quieter than I’ve ever heard him. “There’s a hospital bracelet in the side pocket.”

My head snaps up.

He holds up a small, clear bag containing a bracelet, along with a folded discharge paper. His eyes scan it, and his mouth tightens. “Baby girl Van Rensburg.”

Celeste’s last name, with no first name. Just baby girl.

A rage I’ve never felt before rises in me so fast I nearly sway. Julian’s hand presses firmer against my back.

“She didn’t name her,” I say.

My daughter shifts in my arms, her tiny face turning toward my chest.

Julian leans in, voice low near my ear. “Then you will.”

I look down again, and my vision blurs.

Killian folds the legal letter with controlled precision. “We also need a doctor to check her tonight. I’ll see if I can find a pediatrician who does house calls. We need to make sure she’s okay after being left outside, and we need records started.”

I look up at Julian. “Stay with me.”

He turns his head toward me, surprise flickering across his face for one naked second before he buries it.

“Please,” I add, my voice cracking. “I know I fucked up with you. I know I did. But I can’t—” I swallow and hold my daughter closer, careful not to squeeze too tight. “I can’t do this part without you, Jules.”

Julian’s expression shutters.

The room is full of our friends, full of people pretending not to listen while absolutely listening, but he only looks at me. His eyes drop to the baby, then lift back to my face.

“You’re not doing it without me,” he says, rough and certain. “I already told you. Not a chance.”

My knees almost give out.

Killian moves closer, his voice lowering for me. “Eli, listen to me. You don’t call your parents yet. Not from shock, and especially not with half information. We get the baby checked, we get legal advice, we get a DNA test started properly, and then you decide how to tell them. Not before.”

The Catholic guilt in me recoils hard. “They’re my parents.”

“Right now they’re not the first call,” Killian says flatly. “She is.”

My daughter sleeps against me, unaware that she just outranked everyone I’ve ever feared disappointing.

I nod once and look down at the baby again.

My baby.

Maybe not by memory, maybe not by choice. Maybe not by anything clean or fair or holy enough to satisfy the people who raised me. But by the sudden, brutal truth in my chest.

I touch one careful finger to her tiny fist, and she curls around it. That’s it. That’s the whole fucking world gone and remade in one touch.

“Hi, baby girl,” I whisper again, my voice cracking. “I’m Eli.”

Julian makes a quiet sound beside me, but when I glance over, his jaw is tight, and his eyes are wet.