Page 19 of Omar

"No." The word came out harder than I meant it to. "No, I can't. Cee's waiting for me and if I don't show up he'll tell Supreme and then..." I stopped myself.

"And then what?"

"Thank you," I said quietly, not really answering his question. "For what you did to Holt. For lookin' out for me. But you can't do anything else, Omar. Supreme knows it was a Baptiste. I heard him on the phone this morning. It's dangerous."

"You think I don't know that?"

"So you out here just tryna risk it all then?"

"I'm out here doin' what I gotta be doin'."

He was still the same Omar I remembered. The one that always looked out for me and protected me, but things had changed now.

"You gonna get yourself killed," I said. "I'm not your girl anymore to be doin' shit like this for."

He nodded slowly.

"That's right, you his now."

I didn't like his tone, but I didn't expect him to get it.

"I have to go," I said, backing away from him and putting some distance between us. "Keep out of trouble, okay?"

He watched me, his eyes staying on me. He looked like there was a million things in his mind that he wanted to say, but all that came out was:

"Take care of yourself, Asha."

"You too."

I made myself turn around and walk away. Made my legs do the work even though everything in me wanted to stay right there on that sidewalk with him. I got two blocks down, turned a corner, walked another half block before I had to sit down on a low brick wall in front of someone's brownstone.

I put my bag in my lap and rested my hands on top of it.

I breathed in. Breathed out. Did that until I'd regained composure.

I got my phone out and called Nene.

"Hey, sis," she said.

"Hey."

Her voice changed immediately. "You alright?"

"I'll tell you tonight. I just needed to hear your voice for a minute."

"Where you at?"

"Carroll Gardens. I'm sitting down. I'm okay."

"You need me to come get you?"

"No, Cee's got me and I'll see you tonight at my place when Premie's out."

"I'll bring wine."

"Two bottles, girl."

"You got it."