Page 40 of Heartstrings & Horseshoes

“Everything. What happens next. What happens to our friendship.”

I’m not stupid, I know what she’s getting at, but I refuse to accept it. I wrap my arm around her shoulders and pull her down to rest on me.

“Let me tell you what’s going to happen. I’m going to be away a lot this summer, so you’ll have space. But don’t think for a second I’m going anywhere, or that you’re going anywhere. What happens next is you preparing for your internship and leaning on the Andersens and Olivia to indoctrinate you into horse-land.” I finger comb the strands of white-gold silk draped across my chest.

“And nothing happens to our friendship. We made it through the Great TV Show Cheating scandal during high school.” She jolts up to argue with me, but I hold her tightly against my body.

“I maintain we had no such agreement about not watching episodes seven and eight over the weekend. But as I’ve apologized for the last decade, I’m sorry I found out about Jennifer’s baby before you did.”

Delilah’s slight body trembles beneath my arm, containing her laughter. Her delicate fingers clutch at my shirt.

“We’ve made it through hundreds of tiny disagreements and insignificant fights. I don’t see how this is any different,” I explain.

Her warm breath penetrates the thin cotton of my shirt. “This isn’t a tiny disagreement…or an insignificant fight,” she whispers.

She’s right. Of course she is. But I’m sure as hell not ready to put words to what’s broken between us.

“No, you’re right. But I’ll never let anything, or anyone, come between us—not even ourselves. I don’t regret moving you in here for a second, but I won’t lie, it’s been a big adjustment for both of us. We’re treading in uncharted waters, but there’s no one I’d rather have by my side.” I hug her tighter against me and she melts into my hold.

“What’s happening to us, Connor?” Her question breaks my heart.

“Nothing we can’t handle, doll. Nothing we can’t get through together.” I kiss her temple and drag in her vanilla jasmine scent for longer than I should.

We sit in relatively comfortable silence, soaking in each other’s company. Being with Delilah has always recharged my soul, and despite our current predicament, I feel infinitely better than I did ten minutes ago.

“I’m sad you have to work so much this summer,” she says quietly.

“I know doll, but summers are always a bitch.”

“I know. But…this is the first summer in years I haven’t had classes. I get a real summer, and I wish you could be a part of it.”

Fucking ouch. Heart, meet waffle iron.

“I’ll try to get back on night shift so we can have days together,” I offer desperately.

“No, no. You’d be exhausted. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything. I don’t know why I’m being such a baby about this. Things have been so weird between us…I thought some summer fun would help. It sounds stupid when I say it out loud.”

I do mental math to calculate the minimum number of shifts and overtime hours I need to hit my savings goal by the end of summer.

“Let me see what I can do, okay? There’s a lot of seasonal guys looking for extra work and I bet I can get out of one or two of the longer trips.” I expect her to tell me not to bother, because Delilah always puts everyone else’s happiness above her own. But she surprises me.

She lifts from my chest, propping herself on one arm and traces the collar of my shirt with one finger. Electricity courses from her body to mine.

“I’d really like that. If it’s not too much trouble. I want to be with you as much as possible before my internship takes over my life.”

Does she have any idea the effect her words have on me? I want nothing more than to be with her.

But she doesn’t mean it the way I wish she did. I can’t formulate an appropriate response, so I go with the simplest truth.

“I want to be with you too.”

22

Connor age 14, Delilah age 13

“Ooooo,” the class taunts.

“Quiet, class. Delilah, take the hall pass and go straight to the guidance counselor. No messing around or it’s straight to detention,” Mrs. Harbach says. Yet another teacher who hates me for no reason other than for having the wrong last name.