Stephanie patted my knee. “Says the man who’s never seen It’s a Wonderful Life.”
Hailey actually gasped before slapping a hand over her heart. If she were a Southern grandma, she’d be clutching her pearls. “How have you never seen it? You’re practically old.”
Stephanie kicked her cousin with her foot, making me chuckle. “Thirty-three isn’t old, Hails. He’s only five years older than me. He’s younger than Ivy. Are you calling her old?”
Hailey raised her hands in surrender. “Sorry, Nash, but you’ve got ten years on me. And how did you miss out on this cultural moment in childhood?”
“I’ve never been a fan of old movies,” I confessed. “But this one has my attention.”
“So shhh,” Stephanie told her cousin, giving her head a little pat, before stealing a chocolate-covered peanut butter ball from my plate. Did I care? Not in the slightest. This woman had my heart, my future. She was welcome to my food and, hopefully one day, my last name.
By the time George Bailey ran home from the bridge and sang “Auld Lang Syne,” I may or may not have had to clear the lump in my throat. Not that I was going to admit that and give the guys more ammunition against me. “I think I have a new favorite Christmas movie,” I said simply as the final credits played.
Stephanie beamed up at me, Eden still cuddled against her chest, and Hailey cheered with a fist pump.
“Movie’s over. You finish the puzzle?” Hailey hollered over to the table of puzzlers.
“Shut up,” Elijah growled, continuing to finagle pieces together.
Hailey stuck her tongue out at him. “Cool it, string bean, and use real words.”
Zoe moved between the two low tables, studying them sharply. “We were closer,” she announced.
“No way!” Veronica retorted from Elijah’s table, flipping her blue-streaked hair away from her face.
“Maybe get an unbiased opinion,” Ivy suggested from where she and Ava were cuddling in the recliner with their hot cocoa and matching reindeer Christmas socks. But it was too late.
I never expected a bunch of grown adults to start fighting over puzzles, but here we were. One of the tables was flipped. Swearing broke out. One of the kids shrieked.
Hailey watched in wide-eyed horror, but Stephanie’s shoulders drooped with weary resignation, and she covered sleeping Eden’s ears.
“That’s enough!” Nana yelled, and to my surprise, the noise lessened. “Clean up this mess now, and if I hear another word from any of you—” she jabbed a finger around the group—“Well, I guess you’ll just have to find out, won’t you.” Her gaze shifted over to us, and she softened when she landed on Hailey. “Come help me for a minute, baby.”
Hailey didn’t need to be told twice before she scampered after Nana towards the kitchen.
Stephanie nudged me, being careful to avoid jostling Eden as we were left in a pocket of quietness, amid the mumbling. “So you’re a convert?”
Okay, so we weren’t talking about whatever that was then. I leaned my head back against the sofa cushion, weighing how to put into words the ways I sensed a kinship to George Bailey. I’d spent my life bailing on my own dreams to try and save someone else’s. Working two after-school jobs in high school to pay the bills while my mom promised to do better when she was in between boyfriends. Giving up interests and opportunities to integrate myself into Alexis’s life only to have her dump me with the words, “I need someone with more to offer me.” Like the dreams we’d made together meant nothing.
“You ever wish you got a chance to see how much of a difference your life made?” I asked instead. I felt the heaviness of her gaze, sorting through my words and weighing a response.
“Yes,” she said slowly. “I think most of us do at some point. That’s what makes George relatable. But I don’t think we were built to know that. To know the nuances of someone else’s story. That’s what will make Heaven so amazing, finally seeing the tapestry God wove. With no mistakes.” To my surprise, she rested her hand on my knee and squeezed it lightly. “For what it’s worth, my life certainly got better with you in it.”
“Me or the job?” The bitter words tumbled out before I could stop them, tasting like ash on my tongue. I didn’t miss the shock Stephanie quickly masked. I hated that. Hated that a woman who left me ten years ago still had a grip on me. I knew Stephanie wasn’t Alexis or even my mom. They couldn’t have been more different than this sweet woman at my side.
“Sorry to interrupt, but I’ve got to get this munchkin to bed.” Gabe appeared before us, amused. Like he relished interrupting our moment. Little did he know I was about two seconds from spilling my soul—not kissing his sister.
Stephanie sighed and kissed Eden’s silky raven hair. “Night, lovey.” She shifted, leaning into my side as Gabe bent forwards, and they maneuvered the sleeping toddler.
Eden roused slightly as Gabe cradled her against his broad chest, but she settled instantly, her face nestled into his neck. Watching the tender moment sent a pang through my chest. I wanted that. The whole package.
Once Gabe was out of earshot, Stephanie whispered, “It’s only ever been you, Nash.” Her shoulders curled in, and I hated that I’d done that. “You know the money’s never been an incentive. I’m not her.”
Wait, what? I stiffened. How could she have known about Alexis? Or my mom? If Ryan or Emmett told her, I would… “Who told you?” I growled.
Her smile was sad but gentle. “You just did.”
Sitting in her family’s busy living room on the cusp of another fight threatening to break loose, if the whispered curses and razor-sharp glares were any indication, wasn’t where I envisioned having this conversation. Part of me wanted to shove it away, leave it in the past. Weren’t buried things better left that way? Not according to my therapist.