Page 120 of Third Strike Smitten

Fucking triplet telepathy. Bishop always knows when I’m not right in the head. He can read me like a book and has always been able to call me on my bullshit. I love and super fucking hate that part of him. I press my palms against my eyes, trying to block out the image of Isla’s face when I told her I wouldn’t chase her. “Fuck! I told her I loved her.” I lower my hands and sulk in my seat, the ice pack falling off my shoulder. “I gave her a key to my place and I asked her to stay.”

“And what did she say?” Carter asks, his voice uncharacteristically gentle.

I let out a harsh laugh. “She said she loved me too. Then told me she’s leaving anyway. How about that for romantic, huh?”

Bishop shakes his head slowly. “There’s no way that’s the whole story, Kill. Isla isn’t the type to just walk away like that. She loves you. It was very obvious to all of us.”

“Well, she did.” I stand abruptly, the ice pack hitting the floor with a dull thud. “And I told her I wouldn’t chase her, so here we are.”

“You told her you wouldn’t chase her?” Brock’s eyes widen. “What the fuck, man?”

“What was I supposed to do?” I throw my hands up, frustration boiling over. “Beg? I did that! She made her choice.”

“Nope. Back up,” Carter tells me, leaning forward just like Bishop, his elbows on his knees. “You told her you loved her. You gave her a key, and she told you she loved you too. So, what happened between then and her saying she was leaving?”

I shrug, wincing at the pain in my shoulder. “She said she loves me too, but that she’s scared.”

“Scared of what?” Brock asks.

“That if she stays, she’ll lose me eventually anyway. Some injury or accident or something along those lines.”

Alaric shakes his head. “Why would she worry about that?”

“Because she lost her father in a car accident. They rolled down an embankment. She watched him die right in front of her and she hasn’t been the same since.”

The group gets unusually quiet and then Carter nods slowly. “Her limp…”

“Yeah. From the accident. She was in and out of the hospital for a year relearning to walk and all the shit that comes with recovery.”

“Fuck,” he mutters.

“So, she’s running because she’s afraid of losing someone else she loves,” Carter says, his voice surprisingly gentle.

“Exactly,” I mutter, grabbing the ice pack from the floor and pressing it back against my shoulder. “And no matter what I said to her, it didn’t seem to matter. I’m not enough for her.”

“And you just... let her go?” Bishop stops pacing and stares at me like I’ve grown a second head.

“What was I supposed to do, Hop?” I shout, my emotions getting the best of me. “Tell me what I was supposed to do.”

“Fight for her, you idiot!” Bishop throws his hands up in exasperation. “That’s what you were supposed to do!”

“I did fight for her! I gave her the key. I told her I was in love with her. I begged her to stay. I want her near me every fucking day! I want her in our family! I want her in my bed. I wanted to spend the rest of my goddamn life with her. I still want that! But she…she…”

She doesn’t want me.

“She doesn’t want the same things.”

“Because she’s scared, you big dumbass,” Carter interjects. “Not because she doesn’t want you.”

I laugh bitterly. “Same difference.”

“No, it’s not,” Brock says, leaning forward. “There’s a huge fucking difference between not wanting someone and being terrified of losing them.”

“I don’t see it that way. If someone loves you, they choose you. It’s that simple.”

“Nothing about love is simple, you idiot.” He kicks my chair, making it rock. “Especially not for someone who watched their father die. You think that’s easy to just...get over?”

“I know it’s not easy and I know it’s something she still struggles with. But I’m not asking her to get over it. I’m asking her to be scared with me. Together. I want to be the one she turns to when she’s upset and scared. I want to be the one who holds her through her pain. I want to be the one who loves her through it.”