Page 1 of Third Strike Smitten

PROLOGUE

KILLIAN

The first thing I do before every game is check that the bathroom stall lock is engaged.

Not my pitching grip.

Not the scouting report.

Not the weather.

The lock.

Because nothing says "professional athlete at the top of his game" quite like having a panic attack in a public restroom.

I lean forward; palms braced against my knees as I try to suck air into lungs that have apparently forgotten how to function.

In.

Out.

In.

Out.

It should be simple…but it isn’t.

My chest feels too tight. My heartbeat pounds against my ribs hard enough that I'm convinced it can be heard through concrete and any minute now the team is going to come running in here wondering about the loud thumping sound.

Thirty minutes.

I've got thirty minutes before first pitch.

Thirty minutes before thirty thousand people expect me to be the guy on the billboard.

The guy on the posters.

The guy reporters call an ace.

The guy everyone assumes has his shit together.

I squeeze my eyes shut and try to push away the negative thoughts instead focusing on the things I can control, but the thoughts come anyway, flooding my brain like a broken dam. The voice in my head sounds suspiciously like every scout who ever said I wasn’t durable enough, wasn’t mentally tough enough…wasn’t enough. Period.

You gave up three runs last outing.

Your slider's been flat for two weeks.

The front office is watching.

Bishop's counting on you.

The team is counting on you.

“Killian.”

The lock rattles and I freeze. My entire body goes rigid, every muscle tensing as if I've been caught doing something illegal instead of just…falling apart. Because God forbid anyone see Killian Haynes—the guy who smirks through post-game interviews and flirts with sideline reporters like it's his second job—struggle with something as mundane as breathing.

I already know who it is. Maybe if I stay quiet Bishop will think I’m not in here. Maybe he'll assume I'm already on the field, already the version of me that doesn't need to be rescued from a bathroom.