Page 74 of The Trouble with Flings

“Are you having second thoughts?” Mia asks.

“No. It’s just still so new and strange to think about. I want the baby, without a doubt. One hundred percent. It’s just a lot of change all at once.”

I tell her everything about last night and today, right down to Fitz reading me passages from parenting books and giving me the most glorious foot rub I’ve ever had.

“And?” Mia asks carefully, but with a shimmer of hope in her eyes.

“And today was wonderful, which is scary.” Anxiety flares like pins and needles beneath my skin. I push my hand through my hair, pulling it away from my face. “I haven’t had anyone in my life like this since…”

“I know,” she says gently. “Did he really try to give you a foot rub in the laundromat?”

“Yes. He’s so…” I search for the right words.

“Thoughtful?” she offers.

I nod. “And I can’t believe I’m saying this, but it’s like he knows what I need. Like he knows me as well as you know me. He’s trying so hard, and I feel it all right here.” I put my hand over my heart, which is still racing. My skin goes hot, and I fan my face. “But I can’t talk about it anymore or I’ll have a panic attack.”

Mia pulls me into a hug. “Breathe. We don’t have to talk about it. Just know I’m happy for you.”

“Please don’t,” I say, my eyes tearing up. I step out of her embrace. “Sorry. My hormones are driving me insane. Tell me what’s going on with you and Reggie.”

“When you bailed on me New Year’s Eve, Reggie and I might have kissed at midnight, and when he walked me home, I might have dragged him inside and climbed him like a tree.”

My jaw drops. “Seriously? You did that?”

“I know, right?” She laughs.

“And you didn’t tell me?”

“I was going to, but I didn’t know how, because I have no idea what Reggie and I are!”

“That sucks, but that’s no excuse. I tell you everything.”

“I know. I’m sorry,” Mia says, and I can see she’s struggling. “We’ve been hooking up on and off ever since. But he never stays over, and I know it’s because he’s afraid of commitment.”

“His fucking father screwed him up so badly,” I say angrily. “And his job doesn’t help.”

“Tell me about it. He’s seen so much shit, which is why I’m taking what I can get.” She holds her hands up and says, “I know it sounds pathetic, and I know I deserve better, so you don’t have to lecture me. But my heart has belonged to that stubborn man for more years than I care to admit, and I can’t just turn it off.”

I don’t say anything for a moment, because I know exactly what it feels like to stand in that spot. “You’re not pathetic,” I say softly. “I know Reggie has a lot of baggage, but I do think you two are meant to be together. Some people just need more time to figure things out.”

Mia smiles, but it’s tinged with sadness. “All I want is for my guy to want me back the way Fitz wants you.”

My chest tightens. “All I want is to not be terrified of it.”

She hugs me again, tighter this time. “We’ll get there.”

“That’s scary, too,” I admit, holding her tighter.

When we finally leave the bathroom, the guys are laughing about something. Fitz’s eyes find mine across the room, and the surety in them makes my heart skip, but it’s the other emotions, the mix of happiness, admiration, and undeniable heat, that make it hard to breathe in a way I don’t want to be afraid of.

The guys get up to greet us, and Reggie looks at Mia like she’s the only thing that matters, which makes me truly, deeply happy for her.

Fitz takes my hand, pulling me close, and whispers, “Missed you, wild girl,” as he guides me into the booth.

For the first time in years, I let myself wonder if maybe, just maybe, it’s okay to want this, to believe he won’t be like Gary. Even if it scares the hell out of me.

Chapter Twenty