Page 40 of Irresistibly Wicked

“I don’t want to go to fucking rehab,” he hollered. “I’m not some goddamn junkie.”

She caught sight of Zander watching them from the doorway but didn’t let it slow her down. “You’re right. You’re not. You’re my best friend, my anchor, but right now you’re pulling me into the worst kind of storm. I don’t want to drown, Brian, and I sure as hell don’t want you to.” Tears threatened, but she managed to keep them at bay as she said, “I’m only going to ask you one more time, and if you tell me no, then I’m going to take my stuff and walk out of your life for good.”

“Shauna—” His voice cracked.

“Don’t,” she said firmly. “I found a rehab center that will take you right now, and if you care at all about yourself and all those promises we made to each other, you’ll let me take you there so you can heal. And when you get out, I’ll be there to help you get back on your feet. We’ll go to meetings together just like before. But if you won’t go, then you’re choosing to ride this reckless tide alone, and I won’t go down with your ship.”

His gaze darted frantically around the room, and he paced again. “You’d walk out on me?”

“If you choose drugs over your well-being, yes. I have to. You know that deep down in your heart. If you didn’t have drugs in your system, you would want me to walk away for my own safety.”

He stopped pacing again, staring down at the floor, opening and closing his hands.

“Please look at me.” She waited until he did. “You’re not alone in this. I’m right here, ready to help.”

His shoulders dropped, the tension around his jaw and eyes draining like she’d pulled a plug. “I can’t do this without you.”

“You don’t have to,” she said softly, hope rising inside her. “Just say you’ll go to rehab, and we’ll pack your things and leave right now.”

He blinked several times, his eyes glassy. “I don’t want you to see me in there. Not like that.”

She wanted to tell him that she loved him and he didn’t need to feel ashamed, that seeing her might help ground him while he was going through rehab. But he was on the verge of agreeing to get help, so she gave in. “Then I won’t visit you. Just please let me help you.”

The fear and reluctance on his face were palpable. “You’ll be here when I get out?”

“Yes. I promise. Every step of the way. Just like before.”

He was quiet for so long, she feared she was losing ground.

“Okay,” he relented, full of defeat. “I’ll go.”

Tears spilled from her eyes. “Thank you.” She wrapped her arms around him. “I love you.”

Over Brian’s shoulder, she saw Zander watching them, his jaw clenched so tight, it had to hurt, but he was nodding, as if to say she’d done good. She held on to that encouragement like a brass ring, needing it as much as she needed Brian’s embrace.

Chapter Fifteen

SHAUNA WAS COMPLETELY drained as she drove down her street Sunday morning after her shift at the firehouse. She pulled into the driveway and cut the engine. As she looked up at the rental cottage, her stomach sank, and she realized her mistake.

That wasn’t where she lived anymore.

At least not for the next few months.

She sank back in the driver’s seat, thinking about Friday night. Brian hadn’t been happy about Zander driving them to the rehab center. She’d reminded him that she didn’t feel safe alone with him, and eventually he’d stopped arguing. When they arrived at the center, Brian had been so scared, he’d begged her again to let him detox at home with her. It was agonizing. He’d gotten mean after that, accusing her of abandoning him and saying he didn’t need her. His words had cut like knives despite knowing it was the addiction talking. She was thankful Zander was there to help convince him that detoxing at home wasn’t a good idea for Brian or for her.

Zander had been incredible every step of the way. They’d moved most of her things into his house Friday night, and even though she’d spent the last twenty-four hours working, he’d been texting and checking in with her throughout her shift, making sure she was okay.

Clearly she wasn’t okay. She’d driven to the wrong house.

Work was a good distraction, but in the downtime between calls, she thought about Brian and felt guilty for letting Zander help her. And for thinking about Zander in ways I shouldn’t. Yesterday morning came rushing back, heating her cheeks. She’d run into the bathroom to brush her teeth before work and had nearly barreled into Zander, naked, all his glorious muscles still dripping from the shower and a freaking python dangling between his muscular thighs. He’d just cocked a grin and said, Mornin’, Angel, and had casually reached for a towel, while she acted like it was her first day with a new tongue, stumbling over an apology. Don’t you know how to lock a door? He’d been amused, and as he’d taken his time drying off before wrapping the towel around his hips and covering up the monster that had been peppering her thoughts ever since, he’d said, Kitty doesn’t usually open the door and barge in.

It wasn’t only his appearance that got to her. It was the way he was with her, fun-loving, caring, and unfiltered. Why did she have to like that so much? And that smirk that said more taunting things than words ever could? Then there were those mesmerizing eyes that always held playful innuendos. Everything about him made her body come alive.

But that was not what their relationship was, and she had to wrap her head around that immediately, because she needed this fake relationship to work for Brian’s sake.

And that’s exactly what it was. Fake.

Determined to pack those misguided feelings away, she restarted the car and gave herself a pep talk as she headed to Zander’s house. She reminded herself she was a woman who knew how to handle men without falling all over them. She could totally do this, and anything else life demanded of her.