Page 24 of Irresistibly Wicked

“Wow. Are you all close?”

“Yeah, very. We’re close to my cousins, too. Tank, who looks like his name and owns a tattoo shop, and Baz—he’s a vet—and Gunner. Gunner and his wife, Sid, own an animal rescue. But I grew up with the Dark Knights’ families. I was used to being around lots of kids. I thought it was cool when Mav came to stay with us, but I was just a little kid. I know it was tougher for Blaine. As the oldest, he was used to being the big dog, and Maverick is only a year younger, and he wasn’t used to answering to anyone. It took Maverick a solid year to let his guard down, and that was probably the only time in my life when I wasn’t the biggest troublemaker in the family.”

She laughed softly. “You were a troublemaker, huh?”

“Some would say I still am, but that’s enough about me. I’d like to hear the rest of your story, if you don’t mind. You said you and Brian have been best buds since you were kids. When did you start partying?”

“I don’t remember exactly how or when, but by the time we were fourteen, drinking and getting high were part of our daily routine. While other kids were out at community fairs with their families and amusement parks with friends, we were planning our escape for after graduation. We thought that was enough, you know? Like that piece of paper and leaving our parents behind would change our lives.”

“It did change your lives,” Zander said.

“Eventually,” she admitted. “But leaving didn’t really solve anything. It just brought different fears. We were scared all the time. Scared our parents would drag us back home, scared of the world around us, living in awful situations with other runaways and druggies. We kept partying to escape those fears, and we did it for way too long. Brian got into snorting heroin a few times a week toward the end, when he could afford it, but I never did.”

He took a drink, and as he set the glass down, he said, “Why didn’t you?”

“I was too afraid. For some reason, in my stupid mind, alcohol and weed weren’t as bad.”

“Your mind is far from stupid. Even when you were under the influence, you kept yourself from getting in deeper.”

She smiled, appreciating that more than he could know. “I guess you’re right. That Fourth of July when you drove me home, I had stumbled by some kids my age, and one of them said something to the others about never wanting to turn into a waste case like that girl, and she was referring to me.” She swirled spaghetti around her fork. “That was the first time I really saw myself through someone else’s eyes, and I didn’t like what I saw. I felt so lost and alone, but I didn’t know how to become someone else. Then you gave me the answer I needed.”

She ate the spaghetti. “You made it seem easy, like it was within my reach. Within my control. The trouble with being an addict is that the substance has the control. It’s like the carrot ahead of the horse. But I held on to your words like a lifeline. They became my carrot, and I focused on cleaning up my act and partying less. But Brian had a harder time, and eventually he overdosed.” Her voice cracked. It hurt to admit that aloud. “Thankfully, I found him in time, and the first responders were able to revive him. That was his turning point.”

“That must have been terrifying.”

“It was,” she said softly, remembering the fear that had consumed her. “I don’t know what I would have done if I’d lost him. I would have been completely alone.”

Zander covered her hand with his and squeezed it reassuringly. “I’ve got news for you, darlin’. You’ve entered the Wicked zone, and once you’re in it, you’re pretty much stuck with another best friend for life.”

“You are not stuck with me for life,” she said with a laugh, and then ate another bite of pasta.

“I never said I was stuck. I said you’re stuck, because that’s how Wickeds roll. I, on the other hand, am in need of another best friend. Gunner was my wingman, but now he’s married, and Zeke and I are like this.” He crossed his index and second finger. “But he’s a mother hen, not a great wingman.”

“You expect me to find you women?”

“Hell no. They flock to me on their own. You just need to tell them how great I am.”

She crossed her arms, amused by his arrogance. “And what if I don’t think you’re great?”

“You will. You won’t find a cooler friend than me. You’re not getting out of it, and I’m a great listener, so go ahead and finish your story. What happened after Brian overdosed?”

She couldn’t believe how easily he made her smile. “There must have been someone watching over us that night, because the fire captain gave me pamphlets about NA and AA. I remember thanking him so many times for saving Brian and begging him not to turn Brian in to the police. He told me he was there to help, not to give Brian a reason to do it again.”

“Sounds like a good man. You’re lucky they were able to save him. I lost my cousin Ashley to an accidental overdose several years ago. That’s the kind of loss you never get over.”

Her stomach sank. “I’m sorry. That’s horrible.”

“Yeah. It was. She was Madigan’s best friend, and not a day goes by that I don’t think about her. But it was a long time ago, and I know she’s still hanging around, watching over us, laughing at the stupid shit we do.” He shook his head, and his tender smile told her how much he loved his cousin. “How did Brian stop using back then?”

“It wasn’t easy. He didn’t trust anyone, and I was desperate to help him, but I didn’t know how. The captain who had been so nice that night is the captain at the firehouse where I work. Back then Cap made me feel like someone finally saw us as people worthy of something better, not just as boils on the ass of society. So I went to the firehouse, and I asked him what I needed to know to help Brian detox. Cap explained the risks of detoxing without medical supervision, and he was not cool with the idea of us trying to do it alone.”

“I don’t blame him.”

“I get it, and I would never do it again, but we had no money, no insurance, and not a lot of faith in strangers. We felt like it was a big risk just asking for help. But Cap told me what to do and what to expect, and I scoured the internet, reading everything I could. Then Brian and I powered through together. It was hell for him. It was so painful, and he was so sick, he just wanted to die. It was hell watching him suffer. I begged him to let me take him to the hospital, but he refused. But honestly, as awful as it was, it was the best motivation for me to stay sober. I can’t imagine what it would have been like if he’d been using every day.”

“Jesus, Angel. It really was you two against the world.”

“Mm-hm. Cap checked in with me a lot, and once Brian was past the worst of it, we went to meetings every day, together every step of the way. What most people don’t realize is that even when you think you’re past the worst of it, you’re really not. It was months of struggling not to fall back into the addiction. Downtime was the hardest, being alone with our thoughts. We became gym rats, working out two, sometimes three times a day. Eventually I started volunteering at the firehouse, and we both found jobs and actually went to them every day. I went through a year of therapy. Brian didn’t, but that didn’t worry me. Not everyone recovers the same way. After a couple of years, we were both doing so well, I felt like we’d made it. Brian loved his job as a delivery driver, and I loved my time at the firehouse. The guys there became like family, and Cap was a great mentor. He helped me become more confident, and I got up the courage to ask him if I could work there if I went through EMT training. Since he knew about my past with alcohol and weed, I was afraid I wouldn’t be allowed, but here I am.”