Page 124 of Irresistibly Wicked

The door opened, and when their eyes met, the feeling that this was some sort of minefield fell away. The last time he’d seen Brian in person, he’d been spitting fury through a drugged and drunken haze. Now he was clear-eyed, fresh-faced, and looking at Zander with a mix of apology and gratitude, and so damn nervous the air buzzed with it.

“Brian,” he said, his voice even, though his pulse didn’t match, and offered his hand.

Brian’s brows knitted, and he looked at Zander’s hand like it was the last thing he expected, but he shook it, a little awkwardly, and said, “Thanks for coming over.”

“No problem.”

Brian stepped back. “Want to come in? Sit down?”

“Sure.” Zander headed inside. The place was still clean, the faint smell of coffee lingering in the air.

“Want something to drink? I’ve got water, iced tea, coffee. That’s about it.”

“Nah, man. I’m good, thanks.”

“Do you want to sit down?” Brian motioned to the armchair.

Zander nodded and sat in the chair, while Brian lowered himself to the couch. “You look good. How’re you feeling?”

“I’m still trying to figure that out.” He smiled. “I mean, overall I feel good. Rehab helped more than I ever thought it would. I see everything differently now. Who I am, how I got here. It’s kind of surreal being sober and back home with Shauna, but it’s also scarier than hell. I’ve got a long way to go, and I know it’s going to be an uphill battle, but I’m determined to do it right. I’ve been given a second chance, and I don’t want to screw it up, you know?”

“I do know, believe it or not. I came out of my accident feeling that same way. Not that I had the same kind of battle after the accident as you have ahead of you, but I know the feeling of not wanting to fuck up.” Thinking of how he’d selfishly blown into Zeke’s house that morning, he realized he could still fuck up like that and his life wouldn’t spiral the way one drink or one hit of a drug could devastate Brian or Shauna. They carried the weight of their addictions on their shoulders every damn day, and their entire lives hung in the balance.

“Life, man. It’s crazy sometimes.” Brian leaned his elbows on his knees, worrying with his hand, and tilted his face to look at Zander. “I probably wouldn’t be here if not for you and Shauna. I really appreciate everything you did, and I want to apologize for coming to your place and making a mess of your life.”

“Like you said, life can get crazy, but all we did was get you into rehab. You’re doing the heavy lifting, and you didn’t make a mess of my life. You going into rehab and Shauna needing a shoulder to lean on actually helped me pull my shit together.”

“Well, I can’t thank you enough for being there for Shauna. She didn’t deserve any of this, and I’m going to spend the rest of my life showing her how incredible she is and making sure she never has to face it again.”

How could something so right feel like a sucker punch?

“I’m sure she appreciates that,” Zander finally said. “Shauna said she mentioned to you that a couple of the guys in my club are sponsors.”

“Yeah. I’d like to meet them, if that offer still stands.”

“Absolutely. Saint will be at an NA meeting in Brewster at noon, and Sarge will be at an AA meeting in Eastham at four. If you’re up for it, I’m happy to go to both and introduce you. If you don’t feel comfortable with either of them, there’s another guy who lives down in Dennis.”

“I’m definitely up for the meetings, and I’d appreciate the introductions.”

“What about work? Have you thought about what you might want to do?”

“Yeah, I’ve been thinking about it for weeks,” Brian said. “I know it’s going to be hard to get someone to trust me, so I figure I’ll take what I can get.”

“Shauna said you were a driver. Do you have other skills?”

He sat up. “I’ve done a little of everything, driving, landscape, construction.”

“What do you want to do?” Zander asked.

“No idea.” He took a deep breath. “I just want something stable, where I can prove myself. Something physical. I’m not built to sit behind a desk or stand behind a counter all day. Driving was okay, but I think the confinement made me edgy.”

“Yeah, I get that. My brothers Blaine and Maverick own a masonry business. They’re always looking for help, but it’s backbreaking work.”

“I appreciate that, but you’ve done enough already.” Brian shook his head. “You gave me my life back, you had your brother-in-law fix my car, and you watched over the one person I have in this world. I already owe you more than I can ever pay back.”

“Bullshit,” Zander said. “There’s no debt when it comes to helping people. If you need to repay Tobias for fixing your car to make amends for your program, that’s fine, but you don’t owe me anything. Continuing to fight for your own well-being and being good to Shauna is all I need.”

Brian looked away, his jaw tight.