Page 100 of Playing Mr. Perfect

“It must be nice to have so much time off. This might seem like a silly question, but is there a lifespan for your position? Do guys still get tackled at forty-five? And for that matter, what comes next? How do you top being Mr. Perfect?”

Hearing her call me that makes my gut twist. “Please don’t call me that.”

“You don’t like it?”

I shake my head. “No. I used to. I got off on the fame and notoriety. I worked my ass off for years to get there, and I lived for that limelight.”

“I think most people would.”

“I don’t know about that. Flynn gained national attention for being the youngest person to win Wilderness Warrior when he was twenty-one, and he hated the limelight so much, he disappeared and went to live off the grid for several years. Back then, I was in the thick of it. On magazine covers, getting more attention than anyone could ever hope for, and I couldn’t understand his distaste for it. But the last few years changed that. It’s turned into a dog and pony show. I can’t even go out to dinner without people staring at me.”

“I’ve noticed that. You’re good at ignoring them.”

“That comes with loads of guilt. I’m Mr. Perfect. I’m expected to play flawlessly on the field and be this charming, amiable, approachable guy off the field. But I’m not that indestructible kid anymore. My body takes longer to heal, and my throwing isn’t what it used to be. Nobody else has noticed, but I can feel the difference, and my patience for the bullshit of being Mr. Perfect twenty-four-seven has worn thin.”

“That’s understandable. What’s going on with your throwing?”

“It’s nothing.”

“Don’t play macho with me.” She bumps her shoulder against mine.

“It’s just harder to get a perfect throw. It used to be like something would click in my head and I’d know when to release the ball. My shoulder injury has messed that up, making it easy to miss the release point. After I let the ball go, I know immediately if I’ve missed it, even by a fraction.”

“Are there exercises or something you can do for that?”

“Short of having a buzzer go off when I’m in the perfect position, no. But that’s just part of the game taking its toll. That will work itself out, but I’ve been who everyone else expects me to be for so long, I’m not sure I know who I’d be without it.”

“Does that mean this”—she motions between us, her beautiful eyes suddenly cautious—“is all part of an act?”

“Hell no. You’re one of only a handful of people I don’t have to be Mr. Perfect with. That’s one of the things that drew me to you from the beginning. You couldn’t care less about my notoriety.”

“That’s not true,” she says adamantly. “I don’t care if you’re rich or famous, but I’m proud of you for going after your dreams and achieving a level of success that not many people can.”

“Thanks, babe.”

“I’m sorry it’s become stressful for you, but I get that. I made my dreams come true, and I’m proud of that. But I also want to have a family one day, and I have no idea how I’ll ever get to have one and spend time with my kids without losing everything I’ve worked for.”

“Women work and have families all the time. I’m sure owning the business presents certain challenges, but where there’s a will, there’s a way.”

“I keep telling myself that, and I know I have plenty of time to figure it out. But every time I see Emma Lou, that clock ticks louder. What about you?”

“Emma Lou could make anyone think about having a family. She’s adorable.”

“It doesn’t hurt that she loves you. She’s always running into your arms.”

“I am irresistible to females of all ages,” I tease.

She shakes her head.

“I think about having a family a lot, too. Some of my buddies have kids, and most of the families travel with us, but there’s a fair share of bitching among the wives.”

“I can’t imagine how hard that would be with kids, but I can’t even figure out how I’ll ever have kids and keep my business afloat, so there’s that.”

“Like I said, where there’s a will, there’s a way.”

She sighs. “It sounds like you and I are kind of in the same boat. Not with fame, but in the process of discovering who we are and what we want. It’s a strange feeling, isn’t it? To be this age and just learning about who we really are.”

“It sure is. But I’m glad I get to figure it out with you.”