Page 90 of The Mr. Right Checklist

“It’s not like that, sunshine.”

“Oh, good.” Relief rushes through me.

“That was a misinterpretation. This is a decision.”

My stomach plummets.

“I think the world of you, Destiny, and I love spending time together, but I can’t lie to my family anymore. Pretending we’re falling in love when we both know damn well that I don’t do love is wrong. I never should have asked you to go to the wedding with me. It was a mistake. It wasn’t fair to you and it certainly wasn’t fair to my family, and I’m truly sorry for that.”

Tears well in my eyes, and I’m trembling so bad, my teeth chatter. I want to tell him he’s wrong. It wasn’t a mistake. But my mother’s voice forces me to hold my head up high. Smart girls don’t beg for love, and true love doesn’t require beggin’. “I guess I didn’t do a very good job of changing your mind about love.”

“If anyone could do it, it would be you, sunshine. It’s just not in the cards for me, but I hope you find who you’re looking for.”

He leans in to kiss my cheek, and I close my eyes, memorizing the feel of his lips for the last time as my heart shatters like glass. When he turns to leave, I fumble with my keys, hurrying inside seconds before the dam breaks. Sobs burst from my lungs as I close the door, and my knees give out, sending me crumpling to the floor in a wailing, boneless, heartbroken heap.

I gasp for breath between violent, painful eruptions and curl up in a ball, trying to stop the pain, but the sobs keep coming. I cry out in frustration, my voice echoing in the empty house, amplifying my pain.

I don’t know how long I lie there sobbing, but it feels like forever. When Clementine finds me and licks tears and snot from my face, I sit up, feeling numb. Like an empty shell of a falling star. I dig my phone out of my purse. Too depleted to get up, I lie back down as I navigate to my father’s number. His craggy voice draws more sobs, and when the voicemail tone sounds, my voice cracks. “Daddy . . .” I drag air into my lungs and close my eyes, clutching my necklace. “I messed up. I was wrong.” I gasp. “Fletch doesn’t love me back.” Emotions clog my throat, and I just lie there crying into the phone. “I wish you were here . . . I just need . . .” I don’t even know what I need. My breath comes in sharp hiccups. “How can it hurt so much?” The time on the voicemail runs out, and that’s when it hits me the hardest.

Nobody’s comin’ to push me back up to the sky.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

FLETCH

This is the shittiest fucking night ever. It’s been hours since I left Destiny, and the ache of missing her has seeped into my bones. I tried to sleep in my bed, but everything reminds me of her. I have no fucking idea how I ever slept in that damn bed without her. So now I’m on the couch, not sleeping, and Molly’s pawing me like I forgot to bring her favorite girlfriend home with me. She whines for the millionth time, and I open my eyes.

She’s sitting next to the couch with the green blanket in her mouth, staring at me. “I know you miss her. I fucking miss her, too.” How could I have misread her feelings for us?

That’s not fair. I know she loves Molly.

As if Molly knows what I’m thinking, she whines again, pawing my leg.

I turn onto my back and put my forearm over my eyes, trying to block out my thoughts, but my head is a fucking battlefield. How could she write me off because of a fucking checklist that she probably started when she was fifteen?

None of it makes sense. She looked devastated when I ended things. Did she dupe me? It wouldn’t be the first time. Elaina can testify to that.

Molly paws me again.

“I know she didn’t dupe me,” I snap. “She doesn’t have a mean-spirited bone in her body.”

Molly whines, pawing me again.

I reluctantly turn my head and see paper hanging out of her mouth. “What is that?” I snag it.

It’s the card Destiny left on the counter Thursday morning when she headed out early to meet with a potential client. I sit up, glancing at the end table where I keep the cards, and see a bunch of them sticking out. Did I forget to close the drawer, or . . . ?

I look at Molly and raise my brows. She barks and pushes her nose into the card.

I must really be losing it, but I don’t fucking care. If Destiny can look for signs, so can I. I open the card, and her loopy handwriting makes my chest ache.

Good morning! It was fun having dinner with John and Ruby last night, but my favorite part of the evening was dessert (you!). Is it just me, or was Molly looking at us like we were doing it wrong? Ha! By the way, don’t think for a minute that I’m going to let you get away scot-free for not singing karaoke with me again. That was your last free pass. One of these days I’m going to get you to sing. Stop shaking your head. I am! You can’t resist me forever! Have an amazing day thinking of me.

XO,

Sunshine

PS: I know how to get you to sing! The next time you turn me down, I’ll turn you down in bed.