Page 83 of The Mr. Right Checklist

“But?” he whispers.

“It’s not really a but. Everything I’ve told you has been true about how we pulled through after losing my mother, but it was more difficult than I let on. Growin’ up without my mom was really hard. I never wanted to make things worse for my dad, so I didn’t tell him when I was lonely for her or jealous about other girls doing special mother-daughter things.” Tears slide down my cheeks. “We had a big event in Rosebell called the Azalea Festival. Every girl wants to be chosen as the Azalea princess, but you have to be fifteen to enter the pageant. My mom won when she was sixteen, and we used to talk about what it would be like when I was old enough to compete. You know by now that I’m not a dressy girl, but my mama loved that festival to no end. She had dreams of me winnin’. We’d be out shopping for groceries, and she’d stop by the dress shop and we’d look at all the fancy dresses and she’d talk about what it would be like for me to win like she did. And then she was gone, and I . . .” I shake my head, unable to choke out anything more.

“It’s okay, baby.” He holds me tighter. “Let it all out.”

His words break the emotional dam, and my tears flow like rivers. “There were so many times like that when I felt lost. When I got my period, which you probably don’t want to hear about, but it was scary going through it without my mom. I don’t know why I didn’t go to my dad or even Ruby’s mother, but I couldn’t. I went to Ruby, and she told her mother that she got her period, so her mom would buy her the products I needed.”

“That’s a good friend.”

“Yes, she is. But there were times I couldn’t even tell her about because they were too big, and I knew nobody could help me get through them.” I swipe at my tears. “Like when I’d get invited to something at school and race through the front door to share my news with my mom, only to have reality take me to my knees.” A sob bursts free, and Fletch’s chest expands against my back.

He tightens his hold on me. “That’s so fucking unfair. I wish I could’ve been there for you.”

I shake my head. “I wouldn’t have let you see me that way any more than I’d’ve let my dad. If he’d known all the feelings I hid from him, he’d’ve found a way to be with me every second. That’s how much he loved me. I am so grateful for his love, and I don’t know if sayin’ all this makes me a rotten person, but he couldn’t replace my mom. He tried so hard, but he couldn’t fill the hole her death left inside me. It used to swallow me up from the inside out. There were times I felt like I couldn’t breathe, and I was afraid to tell him because he’d lost her, too.”

Fletch repositions us, bringing my side against his chest, and holds me while I cry. “That doesn’t make you rotten, sunshine. Your father was a smart man. I’m sure he knew nobody could replace your mom and was doing everything he could to lessen the pain, not replace her. A parent is a million different things to each of their children, and every one of those things is unique to that parent and child. You were an only child, so you got all the best parts of her, including all those secret mother-daughter parts.”

I’m unable to stop the rush of tears spilling down my cheeks, but I lift my face from his chest so I can see his honest eyes. “You don’t think he’d be disappointed in me for feelin’ that way?”

“No, baby. You were a little girl trying to deal with a loss no child should have to endure. Sharing those feelings with me doesn’t mean you love your father any less than you did an hour ago. It means you finally found someone you trust enough to share them with.”

I nod, tears blurring my vision. “I’m countin’ on that.” I swipe at my tears. “Sorry for blubbering all over your shirt.” I touch my forehead to his chest and close my eyes. “Guess you won’t be writin’ home about this weekend. If you weren’t cleaning up my puke, you were dealin’ with my tears.”

He hugs me. “That’s what best guy friends are for.”

I tip my head back. “How’d I get lucky enough to end up stuck like glue to a friend like you?”

“I’ve been asking myself that for weeks.”

As I settle in against his chest again, he says, “Which of the stars is your mom and which is your dad?”

“I’m pretty sure the stars I think they are aren’t the same from night to night. The sky never looks the same twice, but I try to choose the same ones I’ve been talking to since my daddy passed.” I point to a bright star. “See that bright one? That’s him. And see the one to the right of it? That’s my mama. She always held his right hand.”

“Well, sunshine, they’re still shining down on you. Know what that means?”

“What?”

“You’ve got nothing to worry about or feel guilty about.” His voice is low and reassuring. “You didn’t hurt your parents’ feelings by trusting me.” As my heart fills to near bursting, he adds, “But saying you don’t know which stars they are? That might’ve stung,” and just like that, I’m smiling again.

Chapter Twenty-Five

FLETCH

Destiny spent the week coming up with proposal ideas for her two newest clients and going over every detail for Arjun’s event. We worked together the last two nights, organizing and packing the decorations and supplies. By Saturday morning, I know the event is going to be perfect, but Destiny is like an anxious Energizer Bunny, zipping around the house in nothing but my T-shirt, which she slept in, and panties. As I make breakfast, I hear her moving things around in the living room, talking to Molly and Clementine. The proposal isn’t taking place until this evening, but the landscaper created a gorgeous stone walkway on the roof of the restaurant yesterday, and we’re meeting him there around two, after he’s done laying turf on the roof.

I set our food on the table and peer into the living room. The neatly organized plastic containers that were stacked and ready to be transported are now strewn across the floor and on the couches. Destiny is fishing around in a box on the couch as she consults the supply checklist. If anyone had said there would come a day when noisy, chaotic mornings would make me happy, I’d have told them they were nuts. Now I can’t imagine a single morning without my sweet whirlwind turning things upside down. She’s opened a door in me that I thought was soldered closed. The wedding is next weekend, and as often as I think about trying to make a go of things with Destiny, I know where her head is. My mama taught me to always say what I feel. Heck, my heart gets tangled up with people and things and moments all the time. If I tried to hide it, I’d probably burst. Just last night she referenced when we break up again, not if, and there were no tears or misgivings in sight. I’m not dumb enough to bring it up and risk losing the last week she’s already promised me.

“This one’s got everything,” she says to Molly and Clementine, snapping me back to the moment. “Let’s check the other—” She nearly trips over the cat as she turns around. Clementine scampers up the stairs, and Molly follows. “Sorry, Clem!”

“Okay. I think that’s enough, sunshine.”

She opens a box at the other end of the couch. “I just want to check this box one more time.”

“We went through each of them three times last night. Why don’t you come eat some breakfast.”

“I’m too nervous to eat. This is one of the biggest days of Arjun’s and Maura’s lives, and they’re counting on me to make it perfect.”

“And it will be. You’ve made sure of that many times over.” I move her hair over one shoulder and wrap my arms around her from behind. “We’ve got hours before we’re expected at the restaurant.” I kiss her neck. “You need to relax, sweetheart, or you’ll drive yourself batty and flatten poor Clementine in the process.”