Page 63 of The Mr. Right Checklist

“I just told you it’s not real,” I bite out. “I really like her, but you know I’m not looking to walk down any aisles. I like my life the way it is. It’s comfortable.”

“I think you mean safe,” he says as we pass the basketball courts.

He’s not wrong. The last thing I want is to get in too deep and go through another painful breakup, which is exactly why I needed to get out and clear my head.

“You’re spending a lot of time together. Don’t you feel a connection to her?”

Molly veers into the grass, and I stop to let her pee. “I didn’t expect to, but I do.”

“It’s no wonder you’re confused. It sounds like you’re in a situationship.”

“What is that?”

“It means you have a deeper connection than friends with benefits, but you’re not in a full-on relationship. I’m sure it’s confusing, but I’d do anything to be in your shoes even for a little while. After I lost Annie, I didn’t think I’d ever want to be in another relationship, but it’s been years, and lately I’ve been missing that special connection, you know? That feeling that when you see your person, even the bad shit doesn’t seem so bad. I miss how rejuvenating it was.”

“Like sunshine to a fucking flower,” I grumble.

“Exactly,” he says, and we start walking again.

“Whatever, man. The bottom line is, I’m not sold on love being the end-all, and Destiny is all about finding true love and marrying Mr. Right.”

“She’s all about love and she’s cool with this being temporary? She doesn’t think you could be the right guy for her?”

“No way.” The truth stings, and I have to work too fucking hard to shove it down deep. “She has a checklist two pages long of things she’s looking for in a man, and I’m not anywhere close to being that guy.”

“Damn. Delaney and her girlfriends think you’re a catch.” Delaney is Marshall’s sister. “What’s Destiny looking for? A billionaire? A prince?”

“I don’t think she cares about any of that, but I only saw part of her list, so your guess is as good as mine. From what I saw, she wants someone like her dad. A guy who’s rough around the edges and can fix anything, who puts love above all else. She’s got stars in her eyes and a hungry heart.”

Marshall scoffs. “I think you’re a great guy, but if that’s what she’s looking for, what’s she doing hanging out with you? You can barely change a light bulb, you’ve got cynicism in your eyes, and then there’s that stone-cold heart of yours.”

“Dick.” I shove him off the path.

“All right, maybe not stone cold, but you definitely keep your heart on lockdown, and don’t even try to deny it.”

I don’t say shit, but the truth is, she’s already chipped away at those walls quite a bit.

“I, on the other hand,” Marshall says with a smirk, “take pride in being rough around the edges, and not only can I fix just about anything, but I was also a firefighter. I made it all the way to a hotshot crew out West.”

I shoot him a narrow-eyed stare. “What’s your point?”

“I’m just saying, when that expiration date hits, I’ll be there waiting to rescue her loving heart and fill the shoes that are too uncomfortable for you to walk in.”

“Asshole.”

Later that evening, after my class prep and errands are done and I’m driving home, I’m still thinking about the things Marshall said about having a connection with Destiny. I downplayed our connection with him, but I’m not a fool. I know what I’m feeling for Destiny is bigger than anything I’ve felt in years.

Maybe even ever.

It’s hard to remember what I felt at the beginning with Elaina, but I know I never felt the same visceral desire to be with her that I do with Destiny. There isn’t just something about Destiny that draws me in and makes me want to be closer to her. It’s everything about her, from the way she wrinkles her nose when she thinks I don’t get her jokes or won’t agree with what she says to the way she finds love in everything.

Gripping the steering wheel tighter, I try to remember any of those nuances about Elaina, but I was too young and too focused on school to notice the smaller things. Or bigger things, like what I wanted in a relationship and a partner. If I had only taken the time to think it through, I could have saved us both the heartache of a failed marriage. I know she felt horrible about her infidelity, but she wasn’t a bad person. She just made bad choices.

We both did.

It took me a long time to get past the hurt and allow myself to see my own failings. But I always try to learn from hindsight, and my biggest takeaway from that time in my life is that Elaina trusted me when she fell in love with me, which was well before we got married. She trusted that I’d watch out for her emotional and physical well-being, as partners should. I was at fault for not giving that trust the attention it deserved. I’m not talking about praise or time spent together. I’m talking about putting my contentment in the relationship aside and taking the time to really think about her needs before we got married. To figure out if I would be able to be the man she needed in the long run. I’ve tried over the years to write that off by blaming my age at the time, but I’m too smart for that.

I fucked up all those years ago, and I’ll never make that mistake again.